The Whisperer in Darkness 2011 8+ out of 10 (H.P. Lovecraft)

The Whisperer in Darkness 2011   8 out of 10

The Whisperer in Darkness was a surprisingly good movie that I had never even heard of .   Flipping through channels one day I noticed this movie was based on an H.P. Lovecraft story so recorded it too watch later.   The film makes great use of it's limited budget to create a film that feels like it is straight out of the 1930's or 40's.   Presented in black and white with a great combination of  great audio and cool shots it creates and sets a mood straight out of one of H.P. Lovecraft's works.   The film is simple and yet effective.   It follows the story of a folklore professor that is a lot more Scully than Mulder that through investigation of some odd letters from a farmer finds himself  in the middle of some folklore that is not fiction at all.   Definitely worth a view for any Sci-fi/ horror fans or H.P. Lovecraft books.  I would love to see more of Lovecraft's work brought to the screen in this form.

Rock of Ages 3 out of 10 2012

Rock of Ages   3 out of 10   2012

Rock of Ages was a totally mess.   The movie is set in the late 80's and is basically just a nostalgic musical journey to the music of that time.  The movie itself is a plot less, pointless, cheesy excuse for a movie with the best performance coming from a baboon named Hey Man.   If I wanted to just listen to some 1980's music any hour of old school MTV  would have been more enjoyable.    I'd much rather hear the actual songs  than this cast doing covers of those songs in a story that seemed to be written as an after thought.   

Julianne Hough was the only bright spot in the cast as the sterotypical midwestern girl heading to LA for fame and fortune. Tom Cruise as the Axel Rose like singer was just an odd  casting choice.  Russell Brand confirmed the fact that he isn't an actor and instead just plays a version of himself on screen.   Paul Giamatti's talents are wasted in this movie in a role that may have well been straight out of an Alvin and the Chipmunks movie.   There are a few okay jokes here and there amongst the paper thin plot---but basically this movie  (if it can be called a movie)  just hopes that you will be caught up in songs that you used to love that you will ignore the lack of any substance in the film.    The songs are good, but none of them are favorites of mine from that era that I lived in.   You are better off heading down to a local bar and catching an 80's cover band than sitting through this so called movie or popping in an old VHS tape of an hour of MTV  than sitting through this movie.   I would definitely not sit through this film a second time and I like some cheesy movies.

"These are not the flying monkeys you are looking for"

Flying Monkeys  2013   5 out of 10

Who doesn't want to see a movie with this description 
"A teenager's pet monkey becomes an evil shape-shifter."

This is the latest Syfy channel movie that comes out just in time for a big budget movie with similar theme in order to cash in.    With  Oz the Great in Powerful landing in theaters the same weekend---what better time for a cheesy horror movie about killer flying monkeys.     The movie follows the adventures of what looks like the monkey that was on Friends as he turns into an evil  Gremlin- like   Flesh eating flying monkey at night.     Oh what a sweet little man eating monkey!   You see he isn't really just a monkey,   he is actually a demon that disguises himself as a sweet little monkey by day.   Of course if you try and kill the monkey with modern non-blessed weapons it will split and form two evil monkeys.   Of course no one knows this until the demon monkey hunters show up and by then there are at least dozens of these menacing  digital beasts.   This movie could have been good if they had tried to go the Gremlins route and add some humor to the story instead it is played straight and is just and average horror movie as a result.   Nothing exciting about these flying monkeys.   

End of the World 2013 (So Bad it is almost Good)

End of the World 2013     6 out of 10  



So Bad that it was almost Good.   

The End of the World stars  Greg Grunberg  (Heroes)  and Brad Dourif  (Deadwood).  It is a cheesy disaster film that focuses on the end of the world as a result of  giant Plasma Balls that are bombarding the earth.   A couple of video store clerks that are really into disaster movies---try to use everything they have learned from those movies to survive the end of the world.   This gives us as the viewer  a bunch of giant plasma balls taking people out left and right in spectacular fashion.   The video  store clerks  reference and  repeat a bunch of famous movie lines --which must have helped the writers of the film cut down on quite a bit of dialogue.    The clerks  then decide to break sci-fi writer out of the mental hospital to help stop the end of the world  ---which leads to a great Deep Blue Sea moment.  The movie didn't feel the balls of plasma alone were a good enough antagonist so they add in a cousin he is only out to save himself as a extra human antagonist.
The movie is silly and preposterous and kind of fun at moments. 
 It was almost SO bad that it was Good---but didn't quite get there.

Total Recall 2012 8 out of 10

Total Recall 2012    8 out of 10

Watching the new Total Recall was like going The Magic Kingdom when you have grown up going to Disneyland your whole life.  It is fun and everything was really  familiar --but somethings are in different places,  the  Pirates of the Caribbean is missing the drops and you can't find the Indiana Jones ride at all.  It feels like if you had never been to Disneyland you would love it ---but since you have all you can do is compare it.  On its own the new Total Recall is a good solid Sci-Fi action adventure movie and if the original with Arnold hadn't existed I probably would have liked it even more.    However the  original does exist  and was a classic and the question as to why they even remade such a classic is one that will probably be asked for awhile.   Why not just do another Phillip K Dick book rather than redoing one that had already been done right.    Phillip K Dick books all have very similar  themes and subject matter and I'm sure more of his work would be worth bringing to the big screen.    Watching the new one was like watching  the remake of  Halloween or Psycho---you just wonder why?    Why not just watch the original again?   The script was so similiar that the only thing new about it was the special effects which were great.  As a result of this there were no twists or turns from the original as it follows the essence of the story so closely.    While watching it I was conflicted as to whether I should be enjoying it or whether I should just turn it off and watch the original.    The cast did a good job,   Kate Beckinsale takes over the role of Michael Ironside and Sharon Stone's wife character from the original as a combined character.  Collin Ferrell does a good job --but seriously  Arnold's  shoes are too big for him to fill. Jessica Biel is good as well as the agent that Collin Ferrell teams up with.  All in all it was a good film,  but if you only see one Total Recall watch the one with Arnold.

Fantastic Voyage 1966 7 out of 10

Fantastic Voyage 1966  7 out of 10

A great concept movie that was a precursor to a better more modern film  Innerspace starring  Dennis Quaid and Martin Short.  This 1960's Voyage into the human body in a miniature craft with a human crew now seems cheesy with its plastic ship and green screen backgrounds and odd sets -- but at the time it was made it was an adventure.  The crew of this miniaturized vessel must go inside of a diplomat's body  in order to save his life. 

 I s found this journey enjoyable if for no other reason than Donald Pleasance's performance as the (spoiler alert ) saboteur.  The film also stars Raquel Welch.   The movie takes a little while to get going as they detail the whole shrinking process so it isn't as  Fantastic as its title suggests --but it was still an  enoyable one with some good dialogue and colorful sets.

Skyline 2010 5 out of 10

Skyline 2010  5 out of 10

 A group of friends wake up after a night of partying to  strange blue lights and alien invaders.  This movie is a poor man's  War of the Worlds  meets Independence Day.  Sure they spent a lot of money on special effects for the giant strange alien invaders---but the world is pretty much devoid of humans.  For some reason pretty much the whole movie is them hiding in an apartment watching the aliens through the blinds or running around on empty roof tops.  After creative films like Cloverfield or major alien invasion movies like Speilberg's War of the Worlds----this film despite its special effects feels like a small  film.    As for the story it is pretty pointless.