Saturday, November 22, 2014

The Other Woman 2014 5 out of 10

The Other Woman 2014  5 out of 10

The Other Woman starring Cameron Diaz was yet another disappointing modern comedy that had a lot of potential.    Cameron's character is dating this guy that she thinks is perfect until she decides to surprise him by showing up to his house that is outside of New York.  She shows up to the house to give him this sexy surprise and runs into his wife instead  (played perfectly by the often funny Leslie Mann).    The wife basically befriends her character and they set out to get revenge on the husband which is  where the film falls apart.  It could have been a great 9 to 5 type of revenge story in the light of Horrible Bosses---but instead sputters as the woman basically sit around and talk and then befriend yet another mistress (played by Kate Upton) which adds nothing to the film other than the scene of her running on the beach.   They never really get a satisfying revenge as we are instead given boring and played out revenge tactics like pills in his drink that make him have unfortunate bowel movements.   The comedy  moments in the film were lackluster and predictable.  I thought from the previews that the film would be more interesting and its lack of creativity in coming up with a satisfying revenge for the this cheater was disappointing.  Another -- " Could of, would of, should have been better comedy".

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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Disaster LA (AKA Apocalypse LA) 2014 2 out of 10 (Zombie Movie Review # 8)

  Disaster LA 2014     2 out of 10

Another low budget Zombie movie that lands with a big thud.  
This is about as a zombie movie can be.

It was really sad -because the movie started out with a little bit of potential as a group of friends are having a party and all of a sudden there is an announcement that a strange meteor shower is occurring in the skies.  It was obviously going for a Cloverfield feel at the beginning .   The main character wakes up after a night of partying to a city that has been bombarded by this strange meteors. The group of friends gather together and then another warning happens that the dust from the meteors is making people sick....and by sick we mean turning them into zombies.    The movie that started with the possibility of  being interesting --just gets worse and worse as it goes along.  In a similar fashion as the movie "The Happening" which got worse every minute.  This movie was just dull.  I didn't care about any of the characters including the John Stamos wannabe lead. 

The problem with such low budget movies like this is how implausible they are  (and I'm not talking about the meteors turning people into zombies).   The title I saw this movie on the Syfy channel under was Apocalypse LA  and to call this an Apocalypse is a slap in the face to the word.   If this event just happened there would be a lot more people running around in the streets trying to escape,  but because of the films pitiful budget this isn't possible. Instead we get a movie with about 6 characters in Los Angeles being chased by no more than 2-3 zombies at a time.  Most of the movie takes place in what looks like abandoned parking garage --and empty alleyways.  Characters stupidly one after another end up sacrificing themselves to lack luster zombies.  The lack on people in Los Angeles during on End of the World type event was just laughable and annoying.  Watching the 2 characters that make it to end of this pointless zombie movie running down the middle of an empty street --being chased by a couple of zombies is just an insult to zombie movies.   And they make it to the beach at the end???  Is the beach supposedly safe???    If I had seen this before we had recorded our recent Zombie movie podcast---it may have made my worst Zombie movie ever list.
Skip this one

The movie was made worse by the fact that I watched an episode of The Walking Dead immediately afterwards  --which blew it away.

Check out our recent Zombie movie podcast here.

Up next I'll be watching World War Z  (which I had skipped because of the over the top CGI in the trailers---but now want to check out after Andy and Russell's comments on the film in the podcast.

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Sunday, November 16, 2014

Star Wars Burlesque @ the Devil's Playground Part 1 Boba Fett Rountine - Audrey Deluxe (Star Wars fun)

Several years ago when I imagined my Star Wars Vegas Hotel/ Theme Park and Casino---this act from Star Girls -- Devil's Playground Burlesque would totally of fit in my adults only night time Jabba's Palace show.    Sexy Boba Fett Burlesque with Han Solo Carbonite.    (sorry for the bad quality of my I-phone pictures).    If you are a Star Wars fan and not easily offended  then check this out the next time they perform in Los Angeles.  
 It was a totally fun night.

Here is the link to their facebook page

Here is Audrey Deluxe as Sexy Boba Fett

Here is a You Tube video that shows the routine...... Definitely worth checking out the next time they do it.  


Saturday, November 15, 2014

Battle of the Damned 2013 4 out of 10 (Zombie Movie Review # 7)

 Battle of the Damned  2013  4 out of 10

Fresh off of recording our Zombie themed podcast
 I came across this  Zombie movie on Syfy  "Battle of the Damned"

The movie is a mix of a whole bunch of other movies and never really stands on its own.   It kicks off with Dolph Lundgren (cashing in on the coat tails of the Expendable movies as much as he can) getting a military assignment to go into a quarantined Zombie area.  His mission  in to rescue some rich businessman's daughter.......Hmmmm that plot sounds familiar... (Escape from New York anyone).   The producers must have been sitting around thinking  "Hey lets just make Escape from New York,  but with Zombies and robots ----oh and Dolph Lundgren can limp around like the an old grandpa in military gear".    Well that is exactly what they did.    It is such a direct rip-off of Escape From New York that they didn't even change the name of one of the characters???  (Lazy)   The main leader of the survivors in this area is named The Duke straight out of Escape from New York.  

The rip-off plot starts out okay as Dolph and a crew of no name Expendables wannabes are running around taking out Asian Zombies with minimal Zombie makeup.   His crew is basically all killed off except for him -- because he still has a mission to complete.   We then meet the feisty rich dudes daughter named June ---whose character acts and looks like Juno from the movie Juno  (lazy again).   The movie and its stolen plot still could have been good --but it comes to a screeching halt --due to lack of budget.  It gets bogged down in a bunch of of dull dialogue as the group of about 6 survivors that she is apart of  (that is all they could afford).    Dolph tries to help her escape and the Duke doesn't like it and handcuffs  poor old Dolph to a street lamp to suffer a fate of  death by zombies.    Luckily only about 7 Zombies show up which he is able to beat down before being rescued by one of the survivors.  Dolph and the guy that rescued him run across a rag tag group of Zombie killing robots that look like failed designs for Cylons which they recruit after some terrible dialogue to help them escape before the whole region is fire bombed.   The best line in he film from Dolph is "Zombies.....Killer Robots ..... Nice town you got here " It was a decent concept despite its complete lack of originality.  It's  limited budget turned it into a very slow moving plot with only a few interesting yet poorly executed zombie scenes. We really don't even get a good Robot vs Zombie battle ---because they just couldn't afford it.   All in all it was a waste of potential that could have been a lot better if they had bothered to get beyond the concept stage and actually written a story.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Blended 2014 6 out of 10

  Blended 2014  6 out of 10

The box office shine has definitely fallen off of Adam Sandler lately.  This movie would have been a guaranteed box office hit about 5 years ago with the re-teaming of Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. On screen duo that worked so well in The Wedding Singer and even better in 50 First Dates.  The duo still has a strange and yet delightful onscreen chemistry --but this time nobody showed up at the box office.

I remember loving the trailer for this comedy and wanting to see it when it came out in the theaters---but I never got around to it.  It was a good family comedy about a couple of single parents that hate each other at first and then predictable fall in love after being forced to spend a African vacation together.   The movie had some funny moments and some sweet moments as the couple grew to like each other.  Their characters actually fit as a family as they both added something to each others lives.   The problem is that all of the best moments from the film were in the trailers --so there really weren't any surprises .   All in all it was good, but not great and definitely not on the level of the over the top too silly too believe, yet great  Just Go With It  which you can read my thoughts on below.

Here is the trailer for the film which has all the best parts

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A Good Old Fashioned Orgy 2011 7 out of 10

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy 2011   7 out of 10

Jason Sudeikis stars in this ensemble movie about a bunch of friends that like to party in the Hamptons at his dad's summer home.   The movie features a talented cast dealing with where they are in their lives coming to terms with the fact that their party house is going to be sold.   They decide to throw a big finale to their partying days with the crazy idea of having a good old fashioned orgy.   

Jason Sudeikis despite playing the same type of character in almost every film --plays it really well just like Jason Bateman does.
  His post SNL career has definitely hit the next level with a bunch of quality comedies so far under his belt including the delightful We're the Millers, the surprising Hall Pass and Horrible Bosses.  This smaller film, although not on the level of the above mentioned films was a good start to that rise in Hollywood.
  The great cast turned the lackluster efforts of the gang in throwing this bash of all bashes into a entertaining comedy.  I love the scene where  ex-SNLer Will Forte whose character just got married in the film shows up to the Indian themed orgy in full American Indian outfit -- He definitely didn't get he concept right.   Check out the trailer and enjoy the film

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Don't Be Afraid of the Dark 2010 4 out of 10 or (Demented Sewer Rats on Meth)

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark  2010   4 out 10

I recently recorded Don't Be Afraid of the Dark during the annual crush of Halloween movies on TV and decided to move it to the top of my list of nearly full DVR recorded movies and my overwhelming (never going to get to some of them)  Netflix queue.  I watched it based on the Guillermo Del Toro's track record, since both Hellboy movies were good and Pacific Rim was great.  
It is haunted house movie after all and at one point he was scheduled to do a reboot of The Haunted Mansion for Disney, so I was curious to see what he made.   Well it turns out I wasn't afraid of the dark after all,  it was really an underwhelming film.

The Story:  The Story follows a Dad and his girlfriend living in a mansion that clearly looks haunted with his young daughter that until then had been living with her mom. (a storyline that isn't really explained well.)    The dad is restoring the mansion in order to resell it for his client and within the first days of his daughter's arrival the family discovers a secret basement.   The basement was sealed for a reason  dummies and the reason is where the movie falls apart for me.   The movie has potential with the creepiness of what lurks in the basement --but once you see the evil little creatures the tension falls apart for me.   The daughter, who is already having a rough time adjusting to the change in her living conditions is tormented by the little creatures and at first no one believes her.  They just write off her concerns as her needing therapy to deal with family issues ,  until a groundskeeper is attacked by something in that creepy basement.   Most people would leave at this point (Like the famous Eddie Murphy bit about white people in a haunted house --(the irony)).   The groundkeeper's death isn't enough to get hem to believe her or leave, but it is enough to get the girlfriend (played by Katie Holmes) to do some research on the house.   She finds out the truth about the house and they still stay????   Throw in the Jaws Scenario scene about having to stay because they have important dinner????          All in all it just didn't work and wasn't scary at all.

The Creatures:  The creatures themselves are the worst part of the movie.  We would have been better off never seeing them and just hearing their creepy whispers.  They look like a bunch of demented sewer rats on meth.  They were basically meant to be a creepy play on Tooth Fairies and it just didn't work and all for me.  Maybe they should have just called an exterminator for these rat fairies.

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