Sunday, August 25, 2013

The Campaign 2012 5 out of 10

The Campaign  2012  5 out of 10

I was really looking forward to this movie and after seeing it was let down.  I mean it had Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis how could it not be great?  Story and good writing are still important apparently to answer that question.  You can't just stick two really talented and funny actors in a movie without those key ingredients and expect it to just work.  The same could be said for Burt Wonderstone a few weeks ago (which could just as easily have starred Will Ferrell  instead of Steve Carell) it just was underwhelming.   Will Ferrell still had his moments (just as he used to do even in bad SNL sketches).  Zach Galifinakis's talent was wasted in this movie about too political rivals  Cam Brady

 and Marty Huggins  

battling it out on the campaign trail.  The plot just wasn't funny enough.   It had the occasional funny scene or moment as you can see in the trailer below, but it was just missing a really good story to tie it all together.   The ending was cheesy and a little bit to sappy and message heavy.   I guess I was just expecting too much from this film.  A quality episode of a classic sitcom is still generally better than most comedies in the theaters these days.   I hope Anchorman 2 lives up to its potential.

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Ghost Shark 2013 5 out of 10

Ghost Shark 2013  5 out of 10

Warning Spoliers

On the heels of Sharknado comes Ghost Shark the latest bad shark movie to hit the Syfy channel from the same company that brought us  Ghostquake  (which was So Bad it was Good)  Active Entertainment  (I knew I recognized that fat guy in the movie from somewhere).    I really wanted to like this bad shark movie and hoped it would be the SO BAD IT is Good movie that Sharknado was.   But this one fell short.  The story was just too silly and the tone just work.    The movie features a shark that is brutally killed after stealing some hillbilly fisherman's  fish during fishing contest.   The  dead shark floats into the mysterious  cave near a lighthouse and turns it into a ghost killing machine with no logic whatsoever.  The shark spends the rest of the movie killing people near or around any water and I mean anywhere near water.    Just because you are a angry Ghost Shark that doesn't give you the right to break the laws of all reason and start appearing in bath tubs,  leaking sink drains,  pool parties, bikini car washes (okay well I give them that) and most outrageous of a cup of water.   The Ghost Shark literally gets inside someone that drinks a cup of water and splits him in two.

Here is the Ghost Shark eating a fat kid on a slip and slide.

There is such a thin line between just bad and SO BAD It is Good.
I can't explain it.  What makes a movie turn the corner.  This one just didn't work for me.  I guess sharks flying around in Tornadoes is fine but Ghost Sharks jumping out of buckets of water  NOT SO MUCH.  This one the trailer is definitely better than the movie.

For more on Ghost Shark and other shark movies

Check out this spolier filled set  of Ghost Shark gifs to see the best shark moments

And a facebook friend turned me on to this great  Bad Shark Facebook page that is all about  shark movies.

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Nerd Block

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Sunday, August 11, 2013

The House of Seven Corpses 1974 6 out of 10

The House of Seven Corpses   1974   6 out of 10

The movie looks and feels very much like the era it was made in.  It is defintely a 1970's B horror movie.   The story focuses on a film crew that is filming their low budget horror movie at a house that has had 7 people die mysterious deaths at.  They are warned by the caretaker (and don't listen).   One of them finds an old book of the dead, which if you find you should never read passages from.   Nothing ever good comes from reading from a Book of the Dead, especially if it is from Tibet.  And when you see a picture like this hanging in one of the bedrooms......Also not a good sign.

This picture lead to a great sample of bad acting and dialogue which are throughout the film and which made it go from just being bad to sort of entertaining.  

Movie quote of the after evil cat painting makes cat scratch actor.
 Women  " how dare you hit my cat?" 
Man   "But he scratched me" 
Women   "I wish he'd bitten you". 
Man   "If he did I'd break his neck" 
Women   " you touch my cat again ill break you neck"

Of course all the book of the dead reading ends up causing the world's slowest zombie to rise from the grave and kill the cast and crew making the movie.   It is so slow that they could have easily  run away from him, but instead just stand there being strangled.One of the crew members ends up being the zombie which made no sense at all.  but in this silly flick does it really matter.   It was cheesy, but fun and used some cool 1970's camera work and music that made it rise from the grave of just being total 
crap to entertaining crap.

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Animated movie # 6: Hotel Transylvania 2012 9 out of 10

Hotel Transylvania   2012   9 out of 10

I was surprised by Hotel Transylvania when I finally saw it.  When the trailers for this one came out I didn't think it looked like it would be that great.   A hotel for Monsters just didn't seem fresh enough an idea to get me to see it in the theaters.  I mean it is basically a throw back to Mad Monster Party or even ground already touched upon so perfectly by The Nightmare Before Christmas.     Well we finally got a chance to see it at a free movie at the beach night  (which my wife will probably not be going to anymore because people at free movies are totally rude.)  The movie was actually very clever and entertaining.  It featured the voice talents of half the cast of the uninspired  Grown-ups movie  (which turns out they are better animated as monsters).    The movie focuses on Dracula's castle where he is throwing a party for his daughter's 118th birthday.   A human stumbles across the party and Dracula tries to get rid of him because all the monsters are afraid of humans.  It was funny and adventurous and the cast of monsters was very entertaining.   I recommend this animated movie to those who like me originally passed it by.   Free movie night on the other hand......NOT SO MUCH......Unless you want to hate people for awhile.

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For the Love of Scooby Doo: (Part 6) Scooby Doo: Stage Fright 2013 7 out of 10

Scooby Doo :Stage Fright   2013   7 out of 10

At first the latest Scooby Doo DVD adventure seemed like it was going to be a little underwhelming.   The same storyline that has happened way too many times before,  finds Scooby and the gang at a talent show in a opera house with a Phantom trying to ruin the show and scare off the contestants.  Of course it quickly turns into a little bit of a clever twist on this old plot.  The movie should have been called  "Will the real Phantom please stand up"  or   "How Many Phantoms are there?"  The gang uncovers the Phantom way too early in the movie and it quickly becomes apparent that there are more Phantoms in this mystery than you can shake a stick at, which actually worked to make the story interesting.  I love the way that after all these years the people behind Scooby Doo can continue to make it interesting.   Whether it is with the mythology driven  recent Mystery Inc series, What's New Scooby Doo,  the original series or direct to DVD movies.   I will never grow to old to appreciate that group of meddling kids and their lovable dog.

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The Incredible Burt Wonderstone 2013 6 out of 10

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone  2013   6 out of 10

I found Burt Wonderstone to be good, but not really incredible.  
I liked the premise of the movie and loved the posters, but expected a little more from the movie .   It stars Steve Carell  as Burt Wonderstone  and Steve Buscemi as Anton Marvelton as   two  Vegas magicians whose  Siegfried and Roy/ David Copperfield like act is getting old.  A newcomer in the form of Jim Carrey comes into town with a David  Blane/ Chris Angel type act that threatens  Burt's career and friendship with his partner.   A magician's battle of magic acts occurs after Burt loses his gig at Bally's.    The movie was enjoyable, but the plot is  too predictable  (It felt like a movie that Will Ferrell should have been in).  
With the talents of Jim Carrey and Steve Carell the magician's battle could have been more Incredible.    Watching this movie I again thought......I would much rather have seen another season of Michael Scott on the office instead of whatever 2 movies Steve Carrell could do in that same amount of time.  And I also wondered......what happened to Jim Carrey?   He used to own the box office...and now is playing second fiddle to Steve Carrell.   That being said the movie does have moments,  just nothing incredible to be worthy of its title.

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Invasion Roswell 2013 3 out of 10

Invasion Roswell   2013    3 out of 10

In the   "been there seen that"  department we have the latest terrible Syfy channel movie about alien invasions.    (They can't all be Sharknado right).   This alien invasion movie features a group of commandos that were secretly trained to deal with an alien invasion should the Roswell aliens ever return.   After years of training and waiting the group of older  folks are eventually disbanded.    Of course 7 years later the aliens return  and hover over all the major cities of the world like we have seen half a dozen times since the TV series V.    The unit of retired commandos have a symbol that looks like the Expendables gets back together.   It is like someone decided to do a mix of The Expendables and Red with a cast of who cares actors.    The Expendables had  Sly, Arnold,  Dolph and Bruce  Willis.  Red had a bunch of older oscar nominated actors.    What we get in Invasion Roswell is one of the dads from My Two Dads and the actress that left Star Trek Next Generation after getting killed by a tar monster,  running around with what look like white nerf guns.    The aliens look like extras from a Daft Punk video,  I guess it  costs less to get a motorcycle outfit then to do alien makeup.   The movie follows the  typical  alien invasion formula where the aliens ships take no damage and then all it takes for one alien ship that they hijack (exactly like in Independence Day to take out he mother ship and destroy the entire alien fleet.)  Pretty lame and uninteresting effort with nothing new.

Here is the link to the trailer that I couldn't seem to get into blog......Not that it matters for this movie.

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The Uninvited 2009 7 out of 10

The Univited  2009   7 out of 10

The movie is about a young girl that returns home from a mental hospital after trying to kill herself after her mother's death.  She returns to the home with her father and sister  and  soon to be stepmom (the nurse that used to care for her mom before she died that is now dating her father.)  Her mom's ghost is haunting the house and trying to tell her something.  The two sisters end up uncovering details about the nurse's past that lead to a confrontation between the sisters and the new stepmom to be.   It was near the end of the movie that I was ready to give this movie a 5 out of 10 and call it the uninspired instead of the uninvited,  but then it quickly turned a corner from the same old story that could have just as easily been a lifetime movie into a pretty cool flick.  The ending made the otherwise average movie worthwhile, and almost worth watching a second time just to see if I could spot the clues the second time around.  A good solid performance by Emily Brown as the main character.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Yellowbrickroad 2010 3 out of 10

Yellowbrickroad  2010   3 out of 10

Yellowbrickroad seemed like an interesting concept and I stuck it out hoping something interesting would happen at the end.    A group of people go to investigate a winding trail in the wilderness where an entire town in the 1940's  had abandoned the town  and were later found  dead along the trail with no explanation .   An interesting concept for a movie that got less interesting as the film went on due to the annoying music that  bombards the film in an attempt to be creepy.    If done correctly the movie could have become more interesting as it progressed towards an interesting ending,  unfortunately this yellowbrickroad lead no where.   All we get is a bunch of people starting to slowly lose their minds as the go crazy from the bad music as they wander around lost in the forest.  So little actually happens that it may have well just been a stage play called People going Crazy.  The lack of a good reveal or interesting twist to this unexplainable experiment left me bored and disappointed at the end.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

The Brain That Wouldn't Die 1962 3 out of 10

The Brain that Wouldn't Die  1962   3 out of 10

Yes unforunately the brain wouldn't die in the this terrible Mad Scientist movie.  This is one of those so bad it might be good movies,   that for me unforunately was just bad.   A doctor with no morals decides to play god (the typical mad scientist thing).   His son to be wife gets in an accident and he keeps her head alive and searches for a new body for her.    The only good thing  about this movie is its creepy trailer and the fact that it was a clear  inspiration for Steve Martin's   The Man with Two Brains  (a comedy look at a mad scientist movie).    Skip this movie that is only good for Mystery Science Theater fans and check out the Man with Two Brains instead   which I discuss in this previous blog.

Monster spolier     

Here is the terrible makeup on the monster hiding behind the door of the mad scientist that we only see at the end of the movie.

Here is the trailer for the terrible  The Brain That Wouldn't Die.

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Revenge of the Creature 1955 5 out of 10

Revenge of the Creature  1955  5 out of 10

The Creature from the Black Lagoon returns in this sequel and is just a boring and lame on screen as the first time around.  In this film he is captured and brought back to the Florida to be a part of a Marine Park,  where he can be studied  (finger  air quotes).   And be studied we mean electrically shocked and pissed off  while being chained to the bottom of a tank.   He was a pretty angry and aggressive creature before all this happened so this additional harassment doesn't turn out well.   The Creature eventually escapes   after getting out of his chains and climbing out of his tank.  The park visitors fun away screaming and the Creature escapes into the Ocean.   Then stalks the cute blonde scientist  (apparently he is a horny Creature with a thing for Blondes just like  King Kong)  why not the story is pretty much a rip off of Kong.  The movie had some fun and silly dialogue --but was unremarkable  just like the original.   A guy in a cheesy plastic looking creature suit is just not that scary.    The Trailer is the most exciting thing about this Creature feature.