Showing posts with label Disaster movie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Disaster movie. Show all posts

Friday, July 19, 2013

Blast Vegas (AKA Destruction Vegas) 2013 1 out of 10


Blast Vegas 2013   1 out of 10

Blast Vegas was just completely terrible.  One week after the spectacle that was Sharknado (a terrible movie that was so bad that it was good)  we get stuck with Blast Vegas.   Starring Frankie Muniz and Barry Bostwick this disaster film was just an awful example of terrible film making.   The story was beyond stupid and made no sense whatsoever.  The editing of the film was awful with continuity errors left and right. The difference between a movie that is so bad that it is good and a movie that is just so bad that it is almost unwatchable can be a thin line.   This one fell into the so bad it is just plain terrible.     

The story focuses on a group of college students in Vegas for spring break that accidentally unleash an ancient Egyptian curse via stealing an ancient sword from the hotel lobby and putting it in the sand.   This unleashes a boring sand storm in the shape of a giant sand snake.   Somehow Vegas is devoid of people for some  during most of the movie  (because extras cost money) This works in deserted towns or other locations---but Vegas with no people during spring break???  Really?    In one scene near the beginning of the film the Statue of Liberty is in ruins and then 20 minutes later all of New York/New York is completely fine.  There is a sign in front of it talking about a tiger . (which wouldn't be at New York/ New York), but they thought it would be cool to have a tiger running around after one of the clueless characters that decides to wander around outside for no reason in the middle of this deadly sandstorm.   The main group of characters travel around Vegas using underground passages (like they are at Disneyland) with the help of Barry Bostwich playing a cheesy Vegas lounge singer.   One second there is a shot of Vegas looking intact,  five minutes later it is in ruins and then intact again.   The characters then basically just make up a quest for items around Vegas to solve the curse and drive around the completely empty streets going in and out of underground passages as some of them die one by one from boring deaths as a result of the sandstorm.   It was the most nonsensical mess of a movie I've ever seen.    Sharknado was a mess as well, but a funny and entertaining mess.   Blast Vegas as one of my friends pointed out is no Sharknado.    All bad Syfy channel movies can now be judged against that standard.   "Well it's no Sharknado"



Friday, July 12, 2013

Sharknado 2013 8 out of 10 (SO BAD IT IS GOOD)


Sharknado   2013    8 out of 10   (SO BAD IT IS GOOD)

(Major Spoiler Alert)

Sharknado is hands down the best  Shark/Tornado movie ever made.   I'm sure it is the only Shark/Tornado movie ever made, but that makes it the best right?      This is the gem that I search for when watching bad shark movies.   Like Hammerhead Shark Frenzy it quickly turned from a bad movie into a SO BAD it is Good movie.  They knew what they were doing and had me hooked at the title of Sharknado.    It is just a fun movie title to say.   With all of the crazy, silly monster movies that get churned out each year since CGI made  bad monster movies possible again,  why not a movie that combines the disaster films with bad shark movies?   Why not indeed?   Sharknado could be the first in a whole new genre.  Gatortwister anyone?   How about SnakeQuake?     It is really brilliant if you think about it.   With a movie title like Sharknado it will attract all the people that like bad disaster movies and all the people like me that can't get enough of bad shark movies.    Genius!

The  movie  stars Ian Ziering of 90210 fame (I'm glad to see that Steve got a job after finishing high school at age 32).  Apparently Steve has changed his name to Finley (of course Fin) after all it is a shark movie.  Finley is a surfer that owns a bar on the Santa Monica pier   SPOILER ALERT  (well until a storm destroys it with giant waves and sharks flying through windows).  He spends the rest of the movie trying to save his family from the silly storm of the century that is raining down sharks all over Los Angeles.  I actually liked Ian Ziering is this ridiculous role.  It was like journeying back to a Chuck Norris movie from the 80's. 

    Who needs a coherent plot when the title of your movie is  Sharknado???   The plot is insane and the logic of the anything that happens in the movie is completely non existent (kind of like Sharknados).    Of course with a title like Sharknado you have to leave all concepts of logic at the entrance to this amusement park ride of a silly, bad shark/tornado movie.    The screenplay seems to be something pieced together from a pot smoking idea session.  

Let's listen in on thewriting session for this flick:
 Writer #1 "Wouldn't it be great if it was raining sharks?"  
Writer #2  "Put it in the story dude"
Writer #3  "How about a scene where Ian Ziering in the middle of trying to get his family out of the city stops to rescue an entire school bus of kids  Chuck Norris style"
Writer #2 "Sure dude that sounds awesome....Like something out of that classic movie Invasion USA,   man"
Writer #1 "Dude at one point he can have a chainsaw and a shark can totally take out a shark falling out of the sky"
Writer # 2 " And a bunch of sharks can land in a swimming pool at an old folks home"
Writer # 3" Wait dude....Why would the old folks be out at the pool during a giant Sharknado?"
Writer # 2  "Dude.... who cares man it will look cool just put it in the script man "

That pretty much sums it up.  Add Tara Reid as his ex wife,   who at this point would struggle to act her way out of a paper bag and you get the movie magic that is Sharknado.   A movie that makes no sense what so ever....but is a fun and incredible ride.   One second it is raining and the roads are clear....next second the streets of Beverly Hills are flooded and sharks are leaping through the windows of a house that is somehow completely flooded and then blows up.  Nothing makes any sense in this movie, but it doesn't matter.    Sure why not try and stop the Sharknado by flying a helicopter into the air and drops homemade bombs into it?    It makes sense to me,  NOT.   What did you really expect by a movie title Sharknado??  that it would make sense?   Really???    They knew what they were doing and pulled it off better than Sharktopus did.   Another great movie title that made it a must watch for bad movie lovers.    Sharknado will go down in my books as one of the best  SO BAD IT IS GOOD movies I've seen in awhile and it will keep me coming back to Syfy channel for more crap in search of more gems like this one.........I can't wait now for Blast Vegas.....sounds terrible....delightfully terrible.



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Sunday, February 24, 2013

End of the World 2013 (So Bad it is almost Good)

End of the World 2013     6 out of 10  



So Bad that it was almost Good.   

The End of the World stars  Greg Grunberg  (Heroes)  and Brad Dourif  (Deadwood).  It is a cheesy disaster film that focuses on the end of the world as a result of  giant Plasma Balls that are bombarding the earth.   A couple of video store clerks that are really into disaster movies---try to use everything they have learned from those movies to survive the end of the world.   This gives us as the viewer  a bunch of giant plasma balls taking people out left and right in spectacular fashion.   The video  store clerks  reference and  repeat a bunch of famous movie lines --which must have helped the writers of the film cut down on quite a bit of dialogue.    The clerks  then decide to break sci-fi writer out of the mental hospital to help stop the end of the world  ---which leads to a great Deep Blue Sea moment.  The movie didn't feel the balls of plasma alone were a good enough antagonist so they add in a cousin he is only out to save himself as a extra human antagonist.
The movie is silly and preposterous and kind of fun at moments. 
 It was almost SO bad that it was Good---but didn't quite get there.