Saturday, October 26, 2019

Arena 1989 6 out of 10 (Re-watch)

Arena 1989 6 out of 10  

I was adding some movies to the Facebook Movie Archives the other day and I came across Arena which I had apparently given a 1 out of 10 back in the day.  I watched the trailer and said to myself  “There is no way this is a 1 out of 10"   I found it on YouTube and settled in for a re-watch.     The creature masks alone make this show better than a 1 out of 10.  Upon re-watch, I was starting to dig certain aspects of the film and had high hopes that it could end up being much more enjoyable than I had thought back in the early 1990’s when I first saw the film.  

The movie has a very simple plot.  Steve Armstrong is a bumbling short-order cook on a space station in the year 4038 who ends up in a fight with a creature named Fang.   After defeating  Fang Steve ends up in a series of circumstances that lead to him being the first human in over 50 years to fight in "The Arena" an intergalactic boxing match.  So the movie is basically the Star Wars Cantina scene meets UFC. 

What there was to like about the film on re-watching it:

1. The Creatures.   There are some cheap-looking monsters straight out of the background of Star Wars and there are also some pretty cool looking Muppety creatures like the slug monster he battles in his first match and a dinosaur creature seen below that he spars with.

2.  I actually liked some of the sets in the movie.  This movie was made in 1989 but some of the sets felt like a mix of original Star Trek meets Logan's Run.   They were definitely going for the Star Wars Cantina scene which upon re-watch made me like the bar and casino scenes.  The casino scene in this film actually felt more Star Wars to me than the casino in Last Jedi.

3. The fights were cheesy which actually enjoyed.  Watching Steve Armstrong battle a giant slug monster --was like watching Jabba in a boxing match.  Pretty funny stuff.    Meet his final opponent Horn.  Talk about a cheesy villain.  Cyborg Minotaur. 

4.  Hottie 1980's Sci-Fi Blonde.   Shari Shattuck as Jade.   

I so wish he had actually fought this shark looking dude.

As I revisited this film --there were many things I enjoyed about it the second time around.  There was enough good campy chessy stuff to elevate this from a 1  (What was I thinking) to a 6.   But I can't give it higher than that.  The plot was just too simple. This easily could have just been an episode on a Sci-Fi TV show like Trek or something.  The story itself wasn't really movie-worthy. 

Here is the trailer for this weird 1989 film

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Saturday, October 19, 2019

Zombie Tidal Wave 2019 6 out of 10

Zombie Tidal Wave 2019  6 out of 10

The Sharknado franchise came to a wacky and strange time travel conclusion last year.  Ian Ziering not wanting to fade from the public eye decided to move on to the zombie/natural disaster genre. Instead of just battling zombies ---why not spice it up a little with a Tidal Wave.  Zombie Tidal Wave is a decent campy low budget zombie flick.    The problem with modern day Zombie films is that post The Walking Dead –viewers are never going to connect with and care about the characters in a zombie film as much as they did for that TV show.  Basically, with that series Zombies have already been done just about as good as possible.   All these low budget zombie flicks are generally not as good as the best episodes of the TV series -  that being said they can still be a fun distraction if your expectations are not too high.

So, what is the point of watching Zombie Tidal Wave?  Ian Ziering has in my mind become the new king of cheesy and campy low budget fun.   It is fun watching him with a Taser/Machete electrocuting zombies that look like they have been dipped in Windex to save money on zombie makeup.  It was pure campy goodness.   He has one great fight with a Zombie that seems to know so wrestling moves near the end that was enjoyable.

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Sunday, October 13, 2019

In the Tall Grass (Netflix Movie) 2019 1 out of 10

In the Tall Grass  (Netflix Movie)  2019  1 out of 10

Instead of reviewing this film I'll just post my thoughts while watching it that I posted on the Facebook page.

Saturday, October 5, 2019

Jupiter Ascending 2015 5 out of 10

Jupiter Ascending 2015  5 out of 10

Jupiter Ascending was a big budget jumbled mess.  With a budget of almost 176 Million dollars you can see the money on the screen, but it feels like it was without purpose.  There are some decent action sequences and amazing visual effects- but as a movie it just really didn’t know what it wanted to be.  The story was just underwhelming and at times felt like an after thought to the action sequences.  Instead of reviewing it I just have a list of observations or questions about the film.

11.     Why give Channing Tatum’s character Spock ears?  He is supposedly part Wolf but looks like a Vulcan and then at the very end of the film has wings……. What???  I'm so confused by the choices they made with this character.

  2.     The film seemed like it had potential early with a cool action sequence of some hired bounty hunters battling to try and capture Mila Kunis’s character.  At this point it felt like the movie could be a pleasant surprise………Then it started to fall of the rails.

   3.    Eddie Redmayne as the main villains was awful choice.  That character was laughable. The way the character was played was over the top and I was completed unimpressed.

   4.  Sean Bean is great in everything.   Even in a bad movie Sean Bean stands out as a great actor.  I wish he had been the main character instead of a supporting character.

    5.   At first Channing Tatum’s characters rocket jet shoes seemed interesting…… by the end of the film it become annoying as it was overused and just looked like he was rollerblading.  What is this Starlight Express.

    6.  The movie really didn’t seem to know what it wanted to be.   The biggest example of this is in the middle of the film when Mila Kunis’s character goes to get recognized for her royal lineage and ends up in five-minute comedy bit about having to go to 10 different departments to get approvals and forms filled out.   This seemed like something out of a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and didn’t fit with the tone of the rest of the film.   It just feels like there was no clear vision for what exactly the movie was or what tone the film should have.

   7.   The villains were basically three spoiled brats that have lived for many generations.  All three just felt super cheesy to me.  Mila Kunis’s character basically visits all 3 of them during the film.  They all want her inheritance.   One tries to marry her and then kill her.   Another kidnaps her family to get her to sign it over.   Channing Tatum’s Sky roller blader saves her each time.  One-man vs entire spaceships and guards.   At the end she defeats Eddie Redmayne’s super cheesy villain, but the others are almost completely forgotten at the end to the story.

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