Sunday, September 29, 2013

The Leech Woman 1960 5 out 10

The Leech Woman 1960   5 out of 10

Eternal youth always comes with a price.   An jerk doctor that resents his wife for being old drags her into the jungle in search of eternal youth.   Well this doesn't turn out so well for either of them.  She finds the secret held by a jungle tribe and the secret requires a sacrifice that turns out to be him.  UNLUCKY!.   Of course this eternal youth potion comes with a price.... It doesn't last long and she keeps having to kill to stay young (like a vampire).  Thus the title of this movie The Leech movie.   It was a decent old school horror movie with a mix of jungle adventure (including wild animal stock footage).    The only drawback is that it took about 3/4 of the movie until she final turns into The Leech Woman, so we don't get as much Leeching as you would hope for.

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Sunday, September 22, 2013

Motel Hell 1980 5 out of 10 (Horror Cult Classic)

Motel Hell  1980   5 out of 10

Motel Hell is a  Horror Movie Cult Classic just for its concept.  I hadn't seen this movie in over 20 years and when I saw it was on AMC late in the evening a couple weeks ago decided to DVR it and revisit this weird flick.   When Jaws came out people were afraid to go to the beaches.   What Jaws did for the ocean Motel Hell did for me as far as those little road side Beef Jerky stores.   Motel Hell is about a roadside Motel run by a farmer named Vincent.  Vincent makes the best beef jerky around which has a secret ingredient........Soylent Green ----I mean people.   You see Vincent goes out and creates car crashes and then takes his victims back to his farm and cuts out there throats and plants them in his secret garden.   The reveal of the secret garden is great,   the movie as a whole doesn't really hold up to what I remember.  Farmer Vincent ends up saving one of the victims of his traps (a cute young blond)  and eventually his secret is revealed.  The movie has some elements of Texas Chainsaw massacre when farmer Vincent is running around in a Pig mask with a chainsaw,  but the whole movie is really just about the beef jerky secret and when it will be exposed.        So next time you want to stop at one of those little beef jerky stands in the middle of nowhere.....Remember  Motel Hell.   Beware of the may have a secret ingredient.

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Robocroc 2013 3 out of 10

Robocroc  2013   3 out of 10

"Well it was no Sharknado"  that is for sure.  B-Movie vet Corin Nemec stars as a Zoo Keeper.  The movie is about pretty much exactly what the title says.   A top secret government payload on a rocket ship crash lands in a zoo and nanotech-based combat drones take up residence inside a large Crocodile.  Which leads to a bunch of Half -Croc --half robot chaos.   Unfortunately the chaos is very boring and dull.    This could have been a cheesy fun sci-fi film, but it fails on all levels to deliver.  A crazy Robocroc loose in the zoo.....sounds fun .....NOT SO MUCH.      Then the Robocroc escapes into the water park next door.....great potential.....which is completely wasted once again.  It just felt like everything that could have been cool and fun in the movie was squandered.  We end up with a bunch of unconnected scenes with the Robocroc killing people  mostly off-screen in dark sewers and on ATV's while the government agents that came to clean it up actually end up to be behind the whole thing.    It was a cool concept that just wasn't executed most likely for the lack of budget.  There is a scene when it gets loose in the water park and a bunch of people are trapped there that could of been a Robocroc killing frenzy.   Instead all we get is a couple of teens that were locked in  the bathroom wandering around the aftermath of bodies.   Like I said I'm sure it was for a lack of budget,  but don't tease the audience with a Robocroc loose in the zoo and water park and then don't deliver.  

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Ragin' Cajun Redneck Gators 2013 5 out of 10

Ragin' Cajun Redneck Gators 2013 5 out of 10
What a great title for a cheesy Syfy channel movie.   Add in the fact that the description for the movie is   Toxic Moonshine turns a bunch of gators into killing machines.....Need I say more?   It had all the ingredients to be a great bad movie.  The bad shine even turns the people into gators about halfway through the movie which lends itself to what should have been a ton of chessy fun. 
Somehow it just wasn't as fun as it could have been.  I mean the toxic moonshine mutated gators were actually not that large or scary---so it mostly played about like a normal killer gator movie.   Then the movie had so much potential when somehow the people that were either bite by a gator or ate the toxic moonshine gator meet started turning into gators.  The transformation from people to gators was too quick and I think they wasted the potential for a hilarious spin, which would have been a bunch of toxic mutated gator people running around like infected zombies trying to bite people with their gator teeth.   That would have been much more fun to see.   Anyway it was decent for a killer gator movie...but it could have been so much more if they had just fully embraced the cheesy storyline and taken it in a different direction.  There are still things to like about the movie like the silly Romeo and Juliet sub plot between a boy and girl from two warring hillbilly clans.  The duel between the 2 heads of the clans at the end that is like a gun battle wild west style in the middle of the street (that features a guy with a gun vs a guy turned gators shooting spines out of his back).  The movie counts on the love of Duck Dynasty type folks that are really big on TV right now.  I once saw a Scooby Doo episode that did this story much better.    Anyway if you like killer gator movies enjoy.
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Star Trek into Darkness 2013 8 out of 10

Star Trek into Darkness 2013   8 out of 10
I didn't see this movie in the theaters, because I absolutely hated the Reboot.   I thought it didn't need to be rebooted in the first place.  They could have just done the movies starring Kirk and Spock's early days in Star fleet without having to come up with it being basically an alternate universe so they could make things different.   I hated the thought of having to reintroduce the characters and felt the Reboot lacked creativity (basically just borrowing from other films) I ranted at  length  about my dislike for the Reboot or Alternate Trek as I like to call it).  You can read about why I hate the reboot here.
 And then I found out the big secret that Star Trek into Darkness was a retelling of Khan......Really??   The Wrath of Khan is definitely the best of all the Trek movies.   It brought back a great character from the old TV show and gave us a battle between Kirk and Khan with a history behind it.  Like a great boxing match.   So the fact that they were just retreading this old concept again.....(See several of the other Trek films that have tried to recreate Khan with other characters in my list of Trek films). So I was worried I would hate this film as well.
Here is my list of the Star Trek movies in order of how I rank them.
I was put off by the concept of them once again trying to capture or recreate what happened in Wrath of Khan on the big screen.   It seems like all the Star Trek movies do is either Time Travel or role out a new Khan.  I knew I would eventually see the film....Especially sense Abrams now has the reigns to my favorite franchise  (Star Wars).    I had to sit down and try and watch this movie with an open mind.   I had to try and not bring my prejudice against the first film in this alternate Trek universe into play and just be okay with the fact that nothing in this film has anything to do with the rest of the entire Star Trek universe.  I mean the events of this movie may as well have happened in the universe where Kirk is Evil and has a beard.     And so you ask what did I think of it????    Well.......I actually liked it and think it is probably the second best Trek movie.    Shocked you are I can tell. 
List of what I liked in the movie:
1. The visuals were excellent and the action scenes were exciting.
It was a thrilling movie.
2. The story which I was worried about,  was actually really well written and this alternate version of Khan story was interesting and unique (something the Reboot lacked).  Even though it threaded on familiar ground it was able to tell it in a new and interesting way.
3.  The cast was excellent.  They have really come into their own now.   Bones and Scotty were dead on (just like in the Reboot--one of the few things I liked about it)  and the rest of the crew was excellent. And  Cumberbath was a great as was Robocop  (Peter Weller)
4. This being a sequel I didn't have to sit through boring origin stories,  a real weakness in the first film.   You already know the characters and so the film is able to just jump write into the story.   This is a huge benefit of sequels.
Things I didn't like:
1. The Klingons looked terrible.   Like extras out of the movie Enemy Mine. You didn't change how Vulcans looked (Space elves with plastic ears)   Why change the Klingon look?
2.  As great as the story was I still wish they would have covered new and different territory.  The take on Khan was original and the performance by Cumberbatch was excellent it was still already done so well with  Shatner and Mr. Rourke.  There were so many good and original Sci-fi stories told throughout the many Trek shows that I wish they had done something new.  The secret behind the first Khan movie was that  Kirk and Khan already had that history from the TV show.   We already knew Khan's back story and were allowed to just enjoy their showdown.
3.I still don't like the idea of the Reboot (alternate universe)....but once putting that aside it was very entertaining---yet it still could have been done and done right within the context of the traditional Star Trek universe.
Still  a solid 8 out of 10......Maybe now I can rest at ease that Star Wars (a much better franchise) will be in good hands.  The secret of enjoying this was my being able to let go of my hate of this being an alternate universe Trek and just being able to except that (which I couldn't in the first film).
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Saturday, September 14, 2013

Triangle 2009 6 out of 10

This first poster is pretty lame on the poster scale.....  Definitely wouldn't have convinced me to see it based on this.

Triangle  2009 6 out of 10

Triangle was just plain strange.  To talk about it at all would be to give away most of the plot.   I came across this movie and recorded in on the DVR off of Chiller TV based on the description,  which lead me to believe that it would be something along the lines of a Dead Calm type of movie.  Instead what I got was just a really strange, weird thriller.   It wasn't a great film, but it captured my attention enough that I felt the need to stick around to find out how it would end.   The movies stars Melissa George in the title role of a women that goes on a voyage with a couple of friends and ends up with some strange weather tossing them into the sea until they come across an old cruise ship floating around.  They board the cruise ship with no one on it and the strangeness begins.  They seem to be stuck in some form of weird limbo.   I give the movie some credit for trying something a little new and different with the convoluted storyline,  that may not fully make sense, but was at least interesting in its concept.
It basically plays out like a decent extended Twilight Zone episode with some elements of Momento as well.  

I guess the best way to describe it is Groundhog's Day except everything is bad and you can't change the outcome.  The trailer does a pretty good job of setting it up with really ruining it

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

We're the Millers 2013 9 out of 10

We're the Millers  2013   9 out of 10

We're the Millers was funny from start to finish (something not common in most comedies these days).   I truly enjoyed the tone of the film and can't wait to get it when it comes out on DVD.   It had strong plot about a pot dealer that gets backed into having to smuggle a "smidge" of weed over the border to repay his boss (Ed Helms)  the pot that was stolen from him.   He recruiters his neighbors to pose as his fake family in order to try and trick the border patrol and make the job easier.   It plays out like a dirty version of the Griswalds  if Clark was a pot dealer and his wife was a stripper.   Jennifer Aniston stars along with Jason Sudeikis as the fake couple and they both provide non stop laughs.  The entire cast was great and included small roles with both Tomas Lennon (Lt Dangle) and Ken Marino (Burning Love & Party Down)    Many  modern comedies don't have a strong plot and just seem like a bunch of connected skits.  We're the Millers delivers not only laughes, but a solid plot with a satisfying conclusion.   Plus Jennifer Aniston has never looked hotter than during the little striptease she does to save them after they are captured by the Mexican drug dealers.   The movie really exceeded my expectations  and was probably the best comedy I've seen in the theaters since the first Hangover.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

100 Greatest Sci-Fi Classics (NOT SO MUCH) Collection Episode 1 Galaxina 1980 4 out of 10

It says 100 Greatest Sci-Fi Classics on the cover of this DVD set of terrible Sci-fi movies.   100 Greatest????  that is hilarious.   There is no Star Wars or Bladerunner of 2001 a Space Odyssey in this collection of sci-fi movies.  Instead it has movies like Galaxy Invader,  Escape from Galaxy 3,  The Brain Machine, and It's Alive.    We are talking quality movies here  (LOL).   This 100 movie collection was a bargain and there may be some  SO BAD IT is GOOD gems amongst the total garbage, but it will be a journey to find them.  I've seen some of these turkeys previously from a different collection of "Classics" like The Galaxy of the worst movies I've ever watched.   It is probably going to take me a couple of years to work my way through this collection, so I wanted to invite you along for the ride.   Wish me luck in this journey through "100 Greatest Sci-Fi classics  --NOT SO MUCH"

Galaxina   1980  4 out of 10  (based on weirdness factor)

What the hell have I gotten myself into.   The first flick of the collection of the 100 Greatest Sci-fi Classics (NOT SO MUCH) that I decided to dig into was the movie from the collections box cover.  Galaxina starring Dorthy Stratten of Playboy fame (the one that the movie Star 80 was based on).   Well what a way to kick off this collection of terrible movies!   The movie posters for Galaxina are terrific.  The movie ....well like the title I gave this movie series.....NOT SO MUCH.   

 It is clear that this movie was meant to be a Space- Comedy, but it forgot to be funny.   It was just weird instead.  Dorthy Stratton is just in the movie for her looks as seen below.  She is a robot which makes it easier for her since she doesn't even learn to talk for the first half of this bizarre movie.

The plot of this "Space comedy" concerns a crew of space police captained  by actor Avery Schreiber (who looks like  a fat Gene Shallit)  that get sent on a mission to find an important blue crystal.  This movie is just silly.  The only highlights (besides Galaxina's outfit)  is the couple of scenes that were rip-offs of of the cantina scene from Star Wars.  Before their mission the crew visits a space brothel and later they visit an alien only bar on a western planet where the blue crystal is that serves humans for dinner.   The silly alien costumes are the only real highlight in the mess of a film.   Here is one of those foul mouthed aliens.  The Rock Eater.

Here is the trailer for this really strange flick
Tune back in a couple of weeks from now for movie number 2 which will be a Sci-fi classic starring Jesse Ventura and I'm not talking about Predator.

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Age of the Dinosaurs 2013 7 out of 10

Age of the Dinosaurs 2013  7 out 10

First off  Love the poster for this flick.
Asylum films may be turning a corner.  Seeing the words Asylum films meant that most likely it was going to be one of the worst movies ever made for awhile there (Almighty Thor anyone).   They have many films in their filmography to prove this point,  but they may be turning the corner now since the last few Asylum films I've seen have either been SO Bad they are Good  (like Sharknado) or fairly decent like Age of the Dinosaurs.    Age of the Dinosaurs even stars name actors that have previously been in much bigger productions Treat Williams and Ronny Cox (Total Recall, Robocop).  It follows the story of a biotech company called Geneti-Sharp that using breakthrough flesh regeneration technology has been able to cure burn victims and give people that can't walk the ability to do so again. Unforunately the companies director didn't learn anything from the mistakes another tech company called Ingen made and he decides to also bring Dinosaurs back to life.  Bad idea! as we all know from reading about what happened at Jurassic Park.   Bringing Dinosaurs back to life as attractions works about as well as as having robots like in Westworld.   Won't this tech companies ever learn?   Treat Williams character (a fireman) has to keep his daughter that he took to this demonstration safe throughout the movie that borrows heavily from the Jurassic films.

The movie has its ups and downs in both story and effects, but does a pretty good job of being a Jurassic Park rip-off and has a few interesting Dinosaur scenes like a CGI Dino running through a fairly empty mall (extras cost money you know).  There is a surprising amount of Dino footage actually in the film which I applaud the film for attempting.  I really liked the setup for the show in which they introduce the Dinos that may soon be available even to come to your birthday parties (Delusional much).  The film is flawed and yet still actually pretty decent.  It just makes me want to see the next installment of Jurassic Park.  If they can achieve this level in this low budget rip-off....I can only imagine what the next Jurassic Park film will be like.  

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Beauty and the Beast: A Dark Tale 2010 6 out of 10

Beauty and the Beast: A Dark Tale  2010  6 out of 10

Beauty and the Beast : A Dark Tale was a low budget twist on the Beauty and the Beast story.   It had the sets that seemed straight out of an episode of Xena Warrior Princess.  It was a little corny and a little cheesy, but  had a decent well crafted plot.  Despite  lackluster dialogue and acting the plot flowed well.  In this twist on the classic tale villagers are being brutally murdered and the Beast is getting blamed  and hunted down for these killings.  Belle (played by Estella Warren--from Planet of the Apes)  befriends the beast and teams up to stop the real villains which are a power hungry royal and the evil witch he has teamed up with to take the throne.  They are controlling a CGI Troll creature that is really responsible for all the killing because it wants some Troll crack that it gets rewarded with by the witch when it kills.   Don't expect anything epic to happen in this really low budget fantasy film other than a decent story that was better than the budget to execute it.

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