Why I hated the Star Trek Movie blog (Spoilers in this rant)

You don't just glue a horn on a white horse and make a unicorn......

I had low expectations going in ......it was  Mother's  Day and my mom is a Star Trek fan so I took her out to see the new movie that everybody seems to love--

I personally thought it was  a complete bastardization of the original trek (which is still the best)

I have no complaints with the cast of the new film
 I liked the cast (with the exception of the REIMAGINED Kirk) Bones was especially good...

It was The plot  that I thought was just weak and had holes you could drive a truck through......I know they were trying desperately to make Star Trek hip and grab it from the hands of their dwindling nerd fan base......But what was killing Star Trek wasn't Trek itself---it was pumping out one poorly written movie after another.....Somehow Trek was surviving despite bad movies......

After I pointed out my disdain for the  movie on a friends facebook status ----He pointed out that it was a reimaginging  of Trek.  And yes it was to a certain extent.......A REBOOT If you want to call it that..  But it really wasn't....The makers of the movie chickened out of actually doing a complete Reboot....and instead included Spock Time traveling....  from the original Star Trek universe ....It was an alternate universe.....that frankly sucks....and was a completely unoriginal concept compared to some of the Battlestar Gallactica quality social issues and Sci-Fi that the original Campy series tackled........Time Travel seriously ---That is all they could come up ... with....Time Travel.....They have only used that in about half of the crappy Star Trek flicks.......alternate  universes  ----I didn't know I was watching Stargate  or Sliders  or have a dozen Next Generation episodes that already covered that ground...
They should be able to come up with something more original then Time Travel......The original Series did ..The Original series despite its cheap sets and monsters was actually Relevant and had good quality Sci-Fi writers and story lines......Now all we get is Baby Kirk with missing his daddy issues and  Spock being bullied as a child.....Now all we get is boring retread ideas and concepts  and Star Trek  Death Star Planet killing machines taking out plants like Alderan  ...Come on--give me some new and original

Let's just leap through the completely unoriginal Time Travel concept once again we haven't done that before

 I haven't left a Trek movie this ticked off since the Star Trek III the Search for Spock......"My dad tells me that we...  were friends" indeed.......Tell the stupid Trek writers to start writing Sci-Fi like some of their good episodes and to stop being lazy and doing F---ing Time Travel flicks....This isn't called F---- Time Trek....Lazy bastards......Any 2 episodes of original Trek and or any Next Generation episodes with Q are better than this lame REBOOT....I'd like to Reboot JJ Abrams in the face.....This movie made me want to stop watching LOST as well....If this is his Trek movie than the LOST finale is probably going to be as Bad as Chris Carter's X-Files cock up ending

It was like watching some body's lame alternate universe Fan fiction bullshit come to life.....I'm far from a Trekie ---but if it pissed me off this much some of those basement dwelling Star Trek pajama wearing geeks with the taped on ears must be crying and wetting themselves over this crap

I don't want to see 150 million dollars worth of fan fiction....I'd rather watch Galaxy Quest than this unoriginal premise......F----ing Trek Death Stars blowing up planets.

The script was just a mix of bad time travel, Alternate universes,,Homages to other Trek movies and Star Wars....There was absolutely  nothing new or original about it

As I sit on the bridge Kirk must be rolling around in his grave on that lame Nexus planet  from another crappy Trek movie Generations   (that had Time Travel elements) Where he died so weakly fighting Malcolm Macdowell and falling on the rocks.....Oh Wait that Trek move sucked too....I'm actually missing the Borg..

Hey Time Travel and alternate universes that hasn't been done before NOT............Renegade  Romulans  that is something fresh and new NOT...... 

Where is a good Gorn throwing fake rocks when you need him ???



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z89OOUC9gRA&feature=related


 

If they just wanted to do a new cast so be it but don't bring back original Spock and try to explain it as a Time Travel Alternate universe.... ---Just reboot it --don't try to have it both ways

Movie Flaw:  The  original Spock came from the original time line where things had happened differently.....He wouldn't have known Kirk would end up on Hoth (i mean the Ice Planet) --because in his time line that hadn't happened......Just a flaw in the writing similar to some of the flawed time travel writing that made the end of Generations so lame....Then (Obi Wan)  I mean Spock sends Kirk off on his own.

So basically there is Wrath of Khan and the movie with the Borg  (First Contact)  that were good the rest of the Trek films NOT SO MUCH  --and don't give the one with the Whale Bullshit....

I'd rather watch any 2 random episodes of The New Battlestar or the original series then this Trek movie ever again...

Nero I know Khan and you sir are no Khan.

"He tasks me. He tasks me and I shall have him! I'll chase him 'round the moons of Nibia and 'round the Antares Maelstrom and 'round Perdition's flames before I give him up! "


Beam me the F--- out of here

Here are my thoughts on all the Trek Films

http://bradgeekness.blogspot.com/2012/07/aside-from-wrath-of-khan-which-was.html

Episode 50 2011 2 out of 10

Episode 50  2011 2 out of 10

Who hasn't watched TV shows like  Paranormal State or Ghost hunters and thought about writing a movie where the Paranormal team actually bumps into some serious Paranormal activity.   I know I've personally thought of several ideas based on this premise myself.   That is the focus of this film...someone actually made a movie about it.   2 competing paranormal tv shows with different points of view are set to  explore one of those most haunted spots in America.   One to de-bunk it and the other to prove the existence of inhuman presence.    The concept is good.....the movie NOT SO MUCH.  It is boring and dull and bland and not scary at all.   It says it is in the tradition of Blair Witch and Paranormal Activity....--but abandons the  LOST footage concept freely whenever it feels like it.   There is nothing scary to see here.....you have more of a chance being scared or creeped out by one of the Ghost hunter shows that at least are well edited to make nothing happening but a few random door squeaks and  "What the hell was that?" seem interesting........Skip Episode 50  not worth the effort.

Bunny Lake is Missing 1965 8 out of 10

Bunny Lake is Missing  1965  8 out of 10

I first heard about this movie after watching and reviewing the movie Flight Plan starring Jodie Foster (which didn't work for me)

You can see my thoughts on Flight Plan from 2005 below

http://bradgeekness.blogspot.com/2012/01/flight-plan-2005-4-out-of-10-more-holes.html 

The idea for Flight Plan was interesting it just wasn't well executed in that film.  Bunny Lake is Missing from 1965 did a much better job with the theme.  The story follows a woman  (Carol Lynley) who reports that her daughter is missing. A  Scotland Yard Detective  is brought in (Laurence Olivier) to try and find the girl.  As the movie goes on the question of whether the girl exists at all comes into question.   There are some interesting characters and strange dialogue that give the film a creepy film and I like how it was filmed by Otto Preminger  It is a strange Twilight Zonish type film that has some interesting turns and will keep you guessing til near the end.  I really liked this film and would have given it a 9 out of 10 had the ending not dragged on a bit too long.   But it is definitely worth giving a watch is you are into Twilight Zone style mysteries. 

Here is a trailer for the film

5 Against the House 1955 4 out of 10

5 Against the House  1955  4 out of 10

A good cast and some good acting are lost in this uneven and odd heist movie.  The movie couldn't decide what it wanted to be.  I recorded it in hopes of seeing a good heist movie, but the heist when the film finally got around to it was really weak.  The perfect crime it was not...by any stretch.  

The film starts out with four college students (Suspend your disbelief now because  several of the actors have to be in their mid 30's) in Reno for a little fun.  After witnessing a failed robbery attempt of the casino they had back to school.  The film has some witty dialogue and funny interactions between the characters and seems like it will be a lighthearted comedy.  The beautiful  Kim Novak stars as one of the college buddies girlfriend's that he hopes to marry and she is a bright spot in the film.

 About halfway through the movie  the tone of the film takes an odd turn.   The rich kid gets bored and decides that it would be fun to rob the casino just for kicks and the character of Brick (played by Brian Keith) starts having some issues related to his time in Korea.  The guys decide to rob the casino in Reno and drag their reluctant   buddy that is in love and his gal along for the heist against his will.  The light tone of the film disappears completely and it becomes about dealing with Brick's post war problems.   The heist happens and is a complete disappointment and the ending is just an odd footnote.  I probably would have given this movie an even lower rating if the dialogue and acting hadn't been good.   The heist itself is about a 2 out of 10

Is Batman and Robin from 1997 actually SO bad that it is GOOD?

Batman and Robin  1997  6 out 10   SO BAD it is GOOD?

The movie starts out with a huge big budget museum set with Arnold saying some of the worst one liners ever.   It turns into  Batman on Ice or a really bad  Universal Studios Stunt show.   Batman and Robin is by far the worst of any of the Batman movies.   But is it actually SO BAD that it is GOOD.   It has way too many characters......Batman,  Robin,  Mr Freeze, Poison Ivy --Bat Girl  and Bane.  BANE the main star of the most recent Batman is reduced to a grunting  Mexican Wrestler taxi driver for Poison Ivy.   With huge stars and an enormous budget in the right hands it could have been a good movie---but it is so cheesy and so over the top and silly that it is utterly terrible.    Re-watching the beginning of this film for the first time in over a decade today I was amazed at how incredibly terrible the movie was.    Which begs the question  Is it actually SO BAD that it is GOOD.   Watching it now it is almost pure gold like   Showgirls.   This movie should have its own midnight screenings with villains skating around on ice skates and people dressed in bad Superhero outfits.   So again I ask is Batman and Robin actually SO BAD that is is GOOD????  It is so weird to see this version of Batman as played by George Clooney that makes Adam West look serious....(Okay Adam West could never look serious, but you get the point).   George Clooney, Chris O'Donnell,  Arnold,  Uma,  and that girl from Clueless mix them all together and you get an absolute big budget mess,  which is so laughable I'm almost enjoying it.....   Well Almost.... They should have gone all the way and made it into  a Musical.

Instead of a movie trailer......I give you all the bad lines from Mr Freeze.

The Search for Santa Paws (Family Movie Review # 5) 2010 6 out of 10

The Search for Santa Paws  2010  6 out of 10

The Search for Santa Paws is a decent family holiday movie. If the kids love all the Buddies movies the kids will enjoy this talking animal flick as well .   The plot is simple.  Santa has a magical dog that was given life by the mysterious Ice Crystal as seen in Santa Buddies.   Santa and Santa Paws travel to New York prior to Christmas and in an often used Santa plot....Santa loses his memory and gets separated from Santa Paws.    There are also a group of cute little orphans that break out into song like a scene straight out of Annie involved in the story.    Christmas of course is in jeopardy unless Santa Paws can find Santa and get him to remember who he is.    Not much for originality --but like I said a decent family talking animal movies that the kids will probably enjoy.

The movie is basically a prequel to Santa Buddies .

Beyond Sherwood Forest 2009 7 out of 10

Beyond Sherwood Forest 2009   7 out of 10

You all remember the tale of Robin Hood? Where he steals from the rich to give to the poor and then fights a flying dragon and crosses a portal to another world beyond Sherwood Forest  right?   Well being on Syfy channel with a plot like this I really wasn't expecting  much.   In fact I had recorded it quite a few months back and was just expecting it to be the typically bad Syfy channel flick.   Sherwood Forest with Dragons actually turned out to be a bit of a surprise.  It wasn't great by any means --but the story, the dialogue and the acting were all quite good.  If it had actually had a bigger budget the movie may have actually been something special.  And in today's movie market place where Hansel and Gretyl can come to the big screen it actually wouldn't be that far fetched.    So if you are in the mood for a little Robin Hood tale that is a little outside of the normal Robin Hood box.....Check it out.