5-Headed Shark Attack 2017 2 out of 10
Apparently 5 heads are not better than 3. I'm never been so bored by a 4 Headed shark in my life. At least 3 Headed Shark Attack had some funny scenes that made it at least somewhat enjoyable. This movie gave me nothing---other than the standard "Jaws Scenario" scene --where they think the shark is dead -but it really isn't so they open the beaches back up again. I'll try something different with this bad shark movie review and just ask some questions.
1. Why does a movie called 5-Headed Shark Attack feature a shark with 4 heads??
Part way through the movie the sharks tail becomes another head for no explainable reason. So technically it has 5 heads at about the half-way point of the movie.
2. Why do they decide to hunt the 5-Headed Shark in a rinky dink fishing boat?
I guess they couldn't afford a bigger boat in the production budget.
3. Why have none of the actors in this movie ever taken an acting class in their careers?
Who needs actors when you have a title like 5 Headed Shark Attack. The acting is almost as bad as the screenplay they had to read. I felt like they were holding up cue cards for the actors to read from.
4. Once this 5-Headed Shark has already killed over a couple dozen people why don't they call in the military for help in killing the creature?
Because 2 cops and a couple of research students from the Aquarium should be more than enough to take on a 5 Headed Mutant Shark.
5. Why did they feel the need to skip the title 4-Headed Shark and go straight to 5-Headed Shark Attack?
....I feel like I missed a bad shark movie in the sequence. They really jumped the 5-Headed Shark with this turkey of a bad shark movie. If I didn't watch bad shark movies out of an obsessive need to complete the list in search of the SO BAD IT IS GOOD Shark movie.....I would say that I'd skip 6 Headed-Shark Attack when it comes out......But I'd be lying.
Up next more Shark Action as 5 More Bad Shark movies hit Syfy this week as it leads up to Sharknado 5.
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