Thursday, October 29, 2015

Jason X and other Horror Movies (Jumping the Space Shark)

When your Horror movie franchise runs out of ideas and you take it into space it is time to throw in the towel.

I was at home sick the other day and finally got around to seeing Jason X….a question I’m now questioning.    Jason X or Jason in outer space was a barely watchable film.   Taking Jason the killer from Crystal Lake into space is basically an attempt to drain the last bit of blood out of an already dead franchise.    I guess people finally got the idea to no longer go camping at that Lake after like the 7th movie.    By the 8th movie  Jason discovered  that there was a river leading out of the lake that could take him to Manhatten.  Then he went to Hell in the 9th film.  
So what was left for a guy that went from being a killer in a mask at a campground to some sort of immortal black ooze from an X-Files episode.  Space of course!   Why not send him to outer space?    A reimagined Jason in Jason X.

Jason X  2001   2 out of 10

The movie starts out with the Crystal Lake facility deciding that since they can’t kill Jason that at least they can freeze him.   Some idiot in the government thinks he is too important to freeze and wants to research him.   This of course goes wrong and he kills a bunch of people.  Then a brave scientist is able to freeze him while getting stuck freezing herself in the process.    Flash forward to the year 2455  - when a space crew of students finds the frozen bodies and brings them aboard their ship.   They unfreeze the girl and treat her wounds with healing nanbots.   Jason defrosts and goes on a predictable killing spree aboard the ship.  

The music in the film was terrible –it added nothing to the film.  The acting was forgettable –the story dull and boring.   The film is basically a parody of its own franchise that forgot to be funny.  
It was just a pointless and cliche.  At one point a female android kicks Jason’s butt and literally shots off his leg, arm and head.   I felt like I was watching King Arthur in the Holy Grail fighting the Black Knight –without the laughs.    After they defeat him they wait for another space ship to rescue them---and the ships nanobots decide to resurrect him as a new space version of Jason. The movie was just dull.  This movie was just incredibly cheesy and not scary at all.   At least in the old movies at the camp ground at the lake you could expect a few startles.  With the whole trapped on a ship scenario all the deaths were just inevitable and with the crappy soundtrack Jason lost whatever was left of his scariness.

Outer Space is where Terrestial Horror Movies go to Die.  Jumping the Space Shark.....(Hey I'm surprised Syfy channel hasn't made that movie yet).  

 Hellraiser: Bloodlines 1996 was one of the first to go to space......
I didn't even see that one and was shocked to see that there have been 5 movies since the first one.  I guess I lost track of Pinhead after the third film which I thought was terrible and only gave a 2 out of 10.

   I did suffer through  Leprechaun 4 : Leprechaun in Space
(I guess I was more of a completionist with this bad horror series)  
  Let's be honest all the Leprechaun movies were  pretty bad and surprisingly after Space he actually had his most successful movies in the Hood of all places.     A Leprechaun in Space --why not?  
This movie franchise makes up a whole new mythology for the character with every single film.   So sending him to Outer Space makes as much sense as anything else in the series.

 Leprechaun 4   1996   4 out of 10
Here is the trailer of Jason X....

                      Follow my movie facebook page here

Our movie Podcast is here

No comments:

Post a Comment