Zombie Marathon (Poem 9/22/2010)

The Streets were blocked

The Stores were closed

Would they be coming any minute now?

Nobody knows….

They leaned out of windows

Anxious for what was going on

It is a once a year event

The Zombie Marathon

The loud speakers blared out

They were right around the bend

The large group of zombies  

Trailing the lead car

To be perfectly honest the race itself was a joke.

Because running wasn’t exactly what zombies do best

They stagger and stumble 

With arms away from their chest

But with that said it was joy to watch

Hundreds of Zombies 

Mindlessly roaming the streets

Looking for brains and dragging their feet

The winner was always a zombie from the lead pack

The single minded sort that really wanted a snack.

One of the ones that stayed focused on the lead car 

And kept up his pace could really go far.

Once fallen back of the scent of the pace car

The Zombies tended to wander

Tripping over curbs

And drifting over yonder…

Like faulty robots they would just stagger into things

Slamming their faces repeatedly into walls

Meandering aimlessly between 

The races courses  concrete walls

From the windows up above the fans they would cheer 

And taunt the racers whenever they drew near

Shouting insults and comments

Then showering them with beer

The one thing I can say about the zombies 

Even though they are slow

They have great endurance

No need for water…they just go go  ..go

26 Miles in sweltering heat

They stagger and stumble 

On bare blistered feet

Aggghhhhh! They shout

Over and over and over again

7 Hours into  the race ----

And 2 zombies left in the lead

The finish lines  fast approaching 

What could be more exciting ?   Indeed

The pace car just crossed the line

The 2 remaining zombies not far behind..

And there it is a photo finish

It looks like we have a tie!

BAC 09/22/2010

Zombie Obstacle Course... (A Zombie Poem from 2010)

It had  been years since the world ended

There wasn’t much to do

The Zombie uprising had been put down.

They rounded the last ones up at the zoo

The power supply to the world had run out

There was nothing playing at the movies anymore.

The mall had already been looted.

We were really ---really bored

Then we came up with a great idea

A new Extreme sport

A Life or death adventure

The Zombie obstacle course

The design of the course was amazing

A wondrous thing to see

People came from all over to watch

Because there was nowhere else to be

It starts with the zip line

Over hundreds of the undead

The contestants are given a shotgun

10 points for every Zombie shot in the head

Next came the crawl

Under a zombie filled cage

You got to keep down low now

They will try to grab your legs

The wall was next 

You got to be fast 

Once the zombies are released

You don’t want to be in  last

Now run as fast as you can

The final section is ahead

Be quick through the maze

Don’t lose your head

It is  an exhilarating feeling

When you get to the end

Nothing gets the blood flowing

Like battling the undead.

I gotta go

It looks like the next race is about to go off

Ohhhh  no it just looks like Ted

At the start of the zip line fell off and into  the undead

Don’t look 

Avert your eyes

Close your ears

So you don’t have to hear his  cries

How terrible……

Oh my god

It looks like the Zombie cage has grabbed Rob

As if things couldn’t get  worse 

The zombies at the wall climb seemed to have been released early

Well there goes Kurt

Into the maze goes Larry all alone

“Bang….Bang…Bang”

Goes the Shotgun

Almost there

He crossed the line 

The crowd goes insane…

Just another day

At the Zombie Obstacle course

BAC 09/22/2010

Zombie week continues with A Zombie Poem I did last year (The Zombie Family Picnic)

The Zombie Family Picnic

Such a wonderful place to be

Having fun out in the sun

Or Relaxing under a tree

Uncle Erving always brings the finger foods

Toes, Hands , Index and ring fingers

You may even get a prize.

Zombie Frisbee is the best

Throwing the disc around

With the severed  hand

And the Zombie Hound

Then of course there is the Zombie sack race

Look at  Uncle George

He has the sack over his face

Posing for the family picture is always such a task

Rounding up all the Zombies 

For the photo is definitely not a snap.

The Brain eating contest is a blast

Aunt Sue is a little slow

She always comes in last

In the early evening the fun really begins

After a few drinks 

The Teenage Zombies all take a  nude  swim

BAC 09/30/2010

Zombies in the Elevator (A Zombie Week Poem from 9/30/10)

There were zombies in the elevator

When I stumbled in last night

After one too many drinks

At the Holyfield  vs Tyson robot fight

I didn’t notice them at first

As I stared at the buttons for my hotel floor

But in such a tiny space

The  smell of them was too much to ignore.

They didn’t appear to be going anywhere

Just riding it up and down

Staring at the blinking lights

Making ooohhh and ahhhing sounds

How could I tell they were zombies you ask

Since after all I was a little drunk

Well for one their flesh was rotting

And  they really,   really stunk

One was chewing on a human arm

Just like it was a turkey leg

Blood dripping from his smile

His breath like a rotten egg

Then there was the Zombie groom and bride

That at about floor number eight

Starting going at it in the corner

Zombie lust did they consummate

I stared drunkenly at my watch

Then back at the elevator dial

One zombie kept pushing the buttons for  every single floor

This ride was going to take awhile

Why did I have to be on the 21st floor?

I thought inside my head

A high roller suite with a view

If I can survive an elevator ride filled with the undead

It stopped again on  the  12th  floor 

A couple stared into the elevator

Saw the zombies  standing inside 

And screamed with  horror

The doors closed again

I couldn’t help but take another peek

Three Zombies dressed like Elvis’s

Moaning and groaning cheek to cheek

Finally I reached my floor

I was anxious to get off

But the doors  they  didn’t open

And the elevator starting getting hot

The doors behind me opened

Into a hot zombie filled corridor

And out the zombies went

Into a place of blood and horror

The secret door shut 

And through the regular door I went

Stumbled into my room 

And passed out –

Man I was spent.

I woke up the next morning

This story I swear is real

Zombies in the Elevator

Believe me it was quite the ordeal

BAC 09/30/2010