The Black Forest could have been so bad that it was good, but it missed the mark and only succeeded in being mediocre. I mean the plot was so bad it could have been good. Some tourists take up a creepy guy on an offer for a free excursion into the Black Forest to visit a Fairy Mound.....what could possibly go wrong???? Well your baby could get stolen by Fairies and you could be transferred into a world filled with the nightmares from those Fairytales you read as a child. When one of the group was attacked by flesh eating dwarfs in what looked like jail costumes--I thought it could be turning that so bad it is good corner, but it never really did. It was an interesting concept and I give them points for trying. With TV shows like Grim and Once Upon a Time doing it so much better I would have rather seen additional episodes of those shows than this movie. Of course this movie comes from the same production company that gave us Rage of the Yeti and Triassic Attack....so what do you expect.
What they should have done was just make a Flesh Eating Seven Dwarfs movie....now that would have been epic.
Some great Science Fiction movies have come out or been inspired by the books of Phillip K Dick.
Blade Runner, Total Recall, The Minority Report and more recently The Adjustment Bureau. All of his works have a sense of paranoia or mistaken identity and delve into cool issues in a sci-fi setting. A Scanner Darkly just didn't excite me as much as the other films based on his work. I've seen a lot of praise for this not so widely seen film and figured I had to check it out after seeing a recent Science channel show called Prophets of Science Fiction which had an episode about Phillip K Dick. I've read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and several of the books with some of his short stories which I loved. This drug and paranoia movie although weird and considered one of the most faithful adaptations of his work didn't thrill me. The main reason is the Rotoscope animation used to present the film. I found it distracting and unnecessary. Why animate over actors like Robert Downey Jr and Keanu Reeves when the animation looks just like them. This style of animation is generally hated and I felt served no purpose in the film. Keanu is a bad actor whether you Rotoscope him or not and I don't feel it added to the film. Instead I believe my hatred of this style of animation took away from the movie and the performances of the actors. I would suggest all of the other films based on the works of Phillip K Dick before this one. If you want the non-Hollywood Phillip K Dick in pure form check out his books instead of this Rotoscoped version of it. The story itself is good, I just didn't like the method it was delivered in.
Last Man Standing starring Tim Allen in his return to TV has turned out to be a delight. Since it debuted has been a rock solid sitcom. It is basically Home Improvement but instead of being the Tool Time fix it guy, Tim Allen is the Outdoor Man. Instead of 3 boys --this time around he has 3 girls. (Okay so we are not covering any new ground here --but if it isn't broke don't fix it.) Despite having the same old formula it is a breath of fresh air to a TV market that includes things like It's Worth What (that ran on NBC) or guess Guess which hand I'm holding the money in (Deal or No Deal) and a million reality shows like Hillbilly Hand Fishing. It is refreshing to have the real man's perspective (as represented by Tim Allen) back on TV again. It is a true delight to get to see his reactions to what his TV daughters do and say. So Welcome Back Buzz..... I'm enjoying your return...
As I said before--I missed the whole first season until AMC ran a mini-marathon before the Season 2 premiere. I loved the fact that there was a Zombie TV show, but was feeling that it was just plodding along for awhile. I wasn't seeing why it was getting as much praise as it was. I mean it was good---but wasn't great. I think the low point of the show was probably the unrealistic "Let's lower Glen into a well to lasso a zombie at the bottom of the well scene". That felt like an extremely forced moment of peril and even after this the show was still moving along too slowly for my tastes even though I was still tuning in. All that changed with the great end of the first half of season 2 with the barn scene....What a great moment for the show. A turning point moment in the show for me. So I was looking forward to the season starting up again in February and so far they have not disappointed. There have been 2 really good back to back episodes that have turned up the tension. The aftermath of the barn incident really moved the story along. The scene in the bar in town--where they have to confront other survivors that may not have such great intentions was tense and had the feel of a really good Wild West movie. The second episode back begins with some thrilling crashed car zombie peril and more drama with other survivors in town. The plot is really flowing and moving quickly now (of course I'm sure things will slow down a little again---but I'm definitely along for the ride now and can't wait for more).
Up next in thoughts on TV some thoughts on The Clone Wars
The Librarian Series is a fun and silly series of TV movies starring Noah Wyle of ER fame . In this series of TV movies he gets recruited to a job working for The Library that contains every important artifact that Indiana Jones would have found. This series is what it would be like if Indiana Jones was a lot more geeky and clumsy. The TV series Warehouse 13 has the same basic concept as this series of movies....a giant warehouse with all the mysteries of the universe are stored.
The Librarian: Quest for the Spear (2004) 6 out of 10
The is like a cheesy TV version of Indiana Jones type adventures and deals with all the artifacts that I've read about in Indy books or comics. The first one introduces his character as well as a great mentor played in all 3 films by Bob Newhart. In this adventure he ends up saving the world by keeping the Spear of Destiny out of Kyle Maclachlan's hands (over acting with flair). The effects are cheesy, but the mood is light and fun so it works. A fun afternoon diversion for fans of an adventure type story where mystical items are at risk of falling into the hands of evil.
The Librarian: Return to King Solomon's Mines (2006) 6 out of 10
The second in the series is a retelling of King Solomon's Mines--and therefore I've seen this plot before in several forms. The twist was predictable and some of the story elements were directly out of Raiders like the beautiful ghost that turns evil as it approaches the camera. Of course this ghost looked like it was done with a cheap home computer. Still the film and its light mood and Bob Newhart gave it a sense of cheesy fun.
The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice (2008) 6 out of 10
In the third installment we get to deal with Dracula and Judas Chalice as some Russians are trying to resurrect an army of the living dead. The adventure takes our goofy hero (Chuck minus the intersect) to New Orleans where he saves the day, falls in love and finally connects with his calling. Again it is cheesy and has the feel of a TV show --but its humor makes it enjoyable at the same time.
Rumors of a 4th movie exist but it has yet to surface.....I like the concept and will have to check out Warehouse 13 since like I said it has the same basic storyline.
Based on the H. Rider Haggard book who also wrote the Alan Quartermain novels (like King Solomon's Mines) this feature film stars Ursula Andress as the immortal Ayesha, 'She who must be obeyed'. The movie also stars Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee , it is a Hammer film during the period that they were branching out beyond horror movies into the adventure and scantily clad women genre. The movie was a good solid adventure story which like the other H. Rider Haggard books it deals with explorers coming across a lost city. A Brit played by John Richardson is believed to be the long lost love of Ayesha. He is lured to the lost city by Ayesha's eternal beauty....(and boy does Ursula Andress fit the role). She is flawlessly beautiful is this picture, it is easy to see why he falls for her. The movie is well paced starting with their journey to find the lost city, there encounter with the slaves that serve that city and a climatic fight at the end that deals with the the flame that gives eternal life. The movie has an ending which definitely influenced my favorite movies of all-time from the Indiana Jones series. George Lucas credits as one of the main influences for Indy being King Solomon's Mines and the serials of the 1930's and this H Rider adaptation clearly influenced Indy as well
Here is a sample of the movie and Ursula's beauty.
I just watched one of the dumbest movies of all-time. M. Night Shyamalan wrote,produced, and directed this mess......He hit it big with The Sixth Sense and then he got extremely cocky. I read an article about him where he just sounded very full of himself and I was kind of turned off by that arrogance. After the Sixth Sense he was hot in Hollywood and I guess that is why he was allowed to make a bunch of bad movies. With M. Night it was all about the twist and not about how you get there and that is a big mistake. I was looking forward to the movie Signs with Mel Gibson since it looked like a fun Close Encounters type movie---but it ended up being an extremely disappointing mess. After sins I vowed not to be suckered into another M. Night movie...I skipped The Village (which was all about a twist --which know that I know the twist there is no reason to every see the film).
Well I broke the promise I made to myself when I DVR'd The Happening from 2008 starring Marky Mark from the Funky Bunch. It looked like it could be interesting and actually started off okay like it had the chance to be a good episode of Fringe....but this script wouldn't have made it onto Fringe. The movie about plants turning on humans.....Or the Attack of the evil Pollen as it could have been titled was just plain stupid. The story and dialogue in this movie was terrible. While watching this movie I was thinking what is next for M. Night.....a remake of Troll 2??? Because this movie wasn't even as good as that film. I mean it wasn't just a bad movie.....it was a really bad movie.....Like so bad that I can't see why a major studio even green light this "Killer plants disaster".
8+ out of 10 low budget sci-fi Horror movie that just worked for me. Can't describe why but it just worked for me but it just did.
Coming in at number 9
Bridget Jones Edge of Reason 2004 8+ Out of 10
Not as great as the original...but what sequel is ....Still it is filled with some good British humor
Coming in at number 8
National Treasure 8+ out of 10
Where the Da Vinci Code failed to make unraveling a cool mystery fun on screen National Treaure succeeds.
Coming in at number 7
King Arthur 9 out of 10
A quality action movie about a much different take on the King Arthur story. Clive Owen is great as Arthur.
Coming in at number 6
50 First Dates 9 out of 10
Probably the best Adam Sandler movie --it was like a Groundhog's day about love
Coming in at number 5
I Robot 9 out of 10
Will Smith stars in an action packed adaptation of an Issac Asimov book. I read all of the Asimov robot books which were great. This was and interesting way to bring one of them to screen.
Coming in at number 4
Anchorman 9+ out of 10
Another Will Ferrell movie that gets funny with every viewing.... Great cast that includes Paul Rudd and Steve Carrell. An Extremely quotable film....
Coming in at number 3
Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed 9+ out of 10
I love Scooby Doo and Shaggy and will make no apologies for it.
Coming in at number 2
The Grudge 9+ out of 10
Just like the movie The Ring ---this American version of a Japanese tale was good and creepy.
Coming in at number 1
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 9+ out of 10
I think I loved this movie so much because I wrote a short story in high school called Fear for a Clean Mind--that was on the same exact subject matter. My story was more of a B sci-fi movie idea and had a lot of action. This movie got it right.
Here is the trailer for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
I had heard about this film for quite awhile....but had never seen it. The plot sounded interesting so when I saw it flipping through the channels one day I had to throw it on the DVR.
A couple of Americans on a hunting trip in Scotland walk through the mist and come across a small village called Brigadoon that is lost in time and not on any maps. A weird plot like something out of lost or Jules Verne, but set to music and starring the dancing skills of Gene Kelly.
It wasn't what I expected, but was actually pretty good. It had some humor and several good musical numbers. It was a broadway play before it came to the silver screen. A must see for any Gene Kelly fans.
How dare they even put Jule's Verne's name on this dud of a film. By far the worst version of any films adapted from the works of Jules Verne. This movie was just terrible.....So bad that it was bad. The only good moment was the line. "Let's just recap--We are on an island lost in time, inhabited by pirates that houses a volcano and is stalked by a giant octopus." Thanks for the recap...but none of it was interesting at all. Where are the cheesy giant CGI crabs??? Instead we get people in Swamp thing outfits and 3 pirates and a bunch of sitting around talking about how mysterious the island isn't. I rarely give any film the dreaded 0 out of 10. I mean even the worst of movies have something slightly interesting in them even if the thing that makes them interesting is how bad they were. This was just dull and boring and not in anyway shape or form entertaining.
While watching the Superbowl a commercial came on for a movie that looked like a Transformers wannabe....that somehow and someway was tied to the old board game Battleship. All I can say is why? Why is Hollywood so empty of movie ideas. First of all the movie looks like it is just a total rip-off of Transformers....but why is it tied into and old board game about sinking your friends fleet of ships.
How do we get from this.....
To the early 90's when you made it talk
To a movie.....I could see a movie about actually Battleships maybe.....but a battle with robots at sea trapped in some bubble.....Where has the creativity of Hollywood gone....First it was the urge to remake every single TV show for years ago into a movie....Now board games?????
Here is the silly over the top trailer for Battleship the movie....
I remember joking right after this ad aired "What is next a movie about Candyland....or Chutes and Ladders?" Then I read in my Entertainment Weekly that an actual Candyland movie starring Adam Sandler is in the works??????WTF! seriously. Oh well....I guess we should brace ourselves for Trouble and Sorry the movie......They already did the only board game that actually deserved a movie years ago Clue 1985 (a natural for a movie since it is a murder mystery). Now I guess we should start to expect the 100 million dollar production of Yahtzee! starring Tom Cruise or Uno starring Ben Stiller. Coming soon to a multiplex near you the 3-D animated movie Hungry,Hungry Hippos. I can't wait until the Will Ferrell thriller...."Don't break the Ice" or Steve Carrell in JENGA.
It's Snake week on battle of the Cheesy Sci-Fi Movies
Boa vs Python 2004 4 out of 10......
This bad snake movie has a plot that just makes no sense at all.....Seriously --There is a giant snake on the loose....So let's not try and take it out with the military --instead let's get another really big snake and let them battle......And then at the end they supposedly have an area all cleared --expect for the rave they missed somehow......The bad digital snakes finally battle near the end.....as one silly character rips off his shirt and tries to attack it with a flame thrower....As far a cheesy Sci-Fi giant animals fighting goes ---this one is a dud...
"We are the Knights that are going to slay this dragon " says the billionaire leader of his rich boys hunting group
Boa vs Python 2004 (Lame Giant Snake Battle)
Megasnake 2007 6 out of 10 Now this cheesy Giant snake movie has some things going for it....Michael Shanks from Stargate Fame.....With Dialogue like
"Break out the shotguns, and gas up the ATVs. We got ourselves a big-ass snake to kill. "
"Do not fear the Heart of the Snake"
This movie rips-off Gremlins ---With a guy taking a mysterious snake from Indians store after being warned about the 3 rules not to break with snake....The snake grows eating up people and animals all over town......There is the infamous (Jaws Scenario scene) Where despite a creature killing people left and right the mayor doesn't want to stop the County Fair --because that is a lot of revenue..... Of course giant Snake attacks the fair which was entertaining enough to make this a good cheesy movie...
Megasnake 2007 (Snake attacks Carnival)
Silent Venom 2009 3 out of 10 Luke Perry as a Submarine Captain that ends in dangerous waters with the Chinese doing exercises and some dull snakes killing people on his ship after he rescues some researchers...... (Snakes on a Submarine)..... Cheesy......I was just waiting for this one to end....Best scene was Luke Perry battling big rubber snake.
"This is the captain....Emergency -snakes have compromised the control room" That is no Snakes on a Plane dialogue
Silent Venom 2009 (Snakes on a submarine)
The winner of Snake week ..... round one of the cheesy Sci-fi movies .....Is
Mega Python vs Gatoroid 7 out of 10
Bad Acting......Cheesy ball plot and dialogue.....And a great food fight between 80's pop stars....Tiffany vs Debbie Gibson...Classic almost as good as the digital Snakes and Gators going at it
Nikki: I think we're alone now.
Terry: There doesn't seem to be anyone around.
Mickey Dolenz getting eaten by a giant snake while just about to play ---epic...
Good bad stuff.....with a satisfying end......The effects are terrible --really bad...Which is good