Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Blackbeard the Pirate 1954 ----Arrrrhhhhh! 7 out of 10

Robert Newton---is Pirating of course in Blackbeard the Pirate from 1952   7 out of 10

2 Years earlier he starred as Long John Silver in Treasure Island a role he would reprise later....He really has his Arrrrrhhh's  down as Blackbeard in this good fun Pirate film.  He is really taking over ever scene he is in and embracing  being a bloody pirate--Taking center stage in this tale of swords and ships.
 Buried treasure and backstabbing by the ways of a Pirate as he faces off against that guy from the Rum bottle.

Here be the Trailer to this Pirate Adventure

Geek Video of the Week: Princess Bride with Lightsabers

Arnold in Brazil---Trying to explain Carnivale

"I knew I had something in common with the Brazilian men....I like that"

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Arnold Rises to fame as the Terminator (with a little help from James Cameron)

The Terminator   1984   10 out of 10

"Are you Sara Conners?"   Continuing Arnold week.  The Terminator....Arnold made his big leap to superstar status with  The Terminator films.     Uttering his robotic lines to perfection

The Terminator: The .45 long slide, with laser sighting. 

Or complicated dialogue like.....

The Terminator :   Get out.

He strutted around the movie as an unstoppable killer robot from the future. Sent back to prevent John Conner from being born..  Sure there are holes in the time Travel logic and many questions one could ask about the Time travel loop that doesn't make sense......but who cares the movie is kick-ass  Great sci-fi classic film that really launched his career.   This film would begin Arnold's  domination as the go to 1980's action star.   

T-2 Judgement Day  1991  10 out of 10

Arnold was back all right....and even more kick ass than before at the height of his fame....James Cameron really rolled out one of the best action movies of all-time with this sequel.   A leap in special effects with the liquid Terminator....This time Arnold was too popular to be a villian.  But he still kicked  ass.  With fun cheesy lines mixed into the non-stop action.

Terminator "Hasta la vista, baby. "

This should have been his last Terminator film....but they all do one film too many because of the payday....and T-3 was not as good.

We Discuss Arnold here in the Senseless Banter Podcast

Monday, August 29, 2011

Arnold on The Dating Game "By the way this is not true" Arnold

Arnold week continues with a clip of him from The Dating Game.....

Freakshow 2007 4 out of 10

This is a dull and boring retelling of Tod Browning's  horror oddity from 1932.
A hot girl played by hottie Rebekah Kochan  (also in the Telling a film I previously reviewed) seduces some weird carnival owner that runs a Freakshow.....Why I have no idea?  She could easily land a rich guy that doesn't have growths all over his back ---and  Freakshow money?  Really??
Anyway ---the movie is dull --dull--dull it doesn't have the same creepy factor that the original Freaks had.   Instead it just plods along until the kind of cool ending when the Freaks go all   "Freaks Gone Wild" after one of their own is killed......Good ending ---but had to sit through an hour and a half of boredom to get there...

Sunday, August 28, 2011

The Lost Tribe 2009 4 out of 10

LOST meets and bad Predator rip-off... "I'm on a Yacht motherf----ers"......Crash ........Stuck on an island with some strange lost race of humanoids that think they are Predators.    At least the blond covered in mud trying to hide Arnold style from the mysterious Predator wannabes was cute....As  played by   Emily Foxler.    Seriously -they even rip off the much ripped off---Predator point of view shots that so many horror movies rip off.  

Here is the trailer   and a trailer for the same  movie  with a different cast --before it was completely re shot?  So Weird.....

WTF!   The is the same movie.....

Conan the Austrian Barabarian: A look Back

Since the new one just hit theaters and  despite being a really good Conan movie tanking at the box office.  (For my thoughts on that movie go here.)

I thought it was the only way to kick off Arnold Week on my movie page.  On Friday as a part of the Senseless Banter Podcast I do with my friend Russell  we talked a little Arnold.   So why not have an Arnold Week.     Shark Week was so much fun...And when Arnold does that agony pose in all his films he is just as menacing.

Conan the Barbarian  1982  9+ out of 10

R Rated Conan--  Bloody, Gory and Violent.   The way Conan should be.   Arnold seeks and gets Revenge on Darth Vader (James Earl Jones)  who plays the snake cult leader that murdered his parents when he was just a child.  Child no more Arnold struts around with Steroid Arms yielding a sword and screaming Crom about everything.  Some great action scenes.    Watch the Drunken sounding DVD commentary track for this movie it is almost as equally entertaining an experience as Arnold and the director  recall a film that neither of them has seen in decades.   "Exactly"  says Arnold about 100 times....

Great Quotes

Mongol General: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life? 
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women. 
Mongol General: That is good! That is good.

Conan: Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you! 

The Trailer.....

Conan the Destroyer    1984  9 out of 10
A more PG Conan (in a failed attempt to get a bigger audience).
There were supposed to be 3 Conan Movies but after this one the third one never surfaced.    It was cheesy the  infamous mirror scene for example with the villian in the terrible halloween mask is laughable.  But it was still fun.  Arnold vs Wilt..    Oliva D'abo as the princess.     Arnold turning ordinary lines into classic lines with with broken English.   This movie also has a silly wizard dual that sounds like the 2 wizards are taking dumps.   The Conan  books that followed this film by Robert Jordan were all great...and once Lord of the Rings was possible I longed for a new journey into this vibrant Conan world.

A couple of great qoutes
Jehnna: I suppose nothing hurts you.
Conan: Only pain. 

Malak: Why are they trying to kill us?
Conan: Maybe they want to capture us, and torture us to death. 

Drunken  Conan " Lot on your knife"

Conan the Destroyer   Trailer

We Discuss Arnold in our latest Senseless Banter Podcast here

It's Arnold Week -A lool at some of the great Schwarzenegger films

This week on the Senseless Banter Podcast with Russell Turley and myself we discussed Arnold.   I will post the podcast as soon as it is up online.....In the meantime...I thought I'd have Arnold Week.....Think of it as Shark Week with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Up first one of many You Tube videos available .
The 160 best Arnold Quotes Video from You tube.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Transmorphers: "Less than meets the Eye" 2 out of 10

Transmorphers:  Fall of Man   2009   2 out of 10

Tron  (Bruce Boxleitner)  has fallen off the grid and stars in this really bad Tranformers rip-off...
I mean really bad....The end of the world is upon us as the  "Machines are coming"......With such clever writing that has NEVER been used in a movie before like .     " Go.....Go....Go"  while trying to drive away from one bad digital video game robot in a town that apparently has no people.   Or    "Hang in there ...we are going to get you outta here"  to the injured about to die person on the ground.     "Taste this Tinheads"   says Tron as he flies a helicopter straight at one of this Tranformer wannabes.     It was a painful movie to watch---Epic end of the world Robot movies shouldn't have 5 people running around the desert like a scene from Tremors.     Bad --bad stuff

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Seriously---I hope this is true......Bladerunner Sequel Awesome!

The orginal Bladerunne is a Classic....

My Movie Reviews for Just Go With It and Adjustment Bureau

My Reviews are over on my Miceage Movie Blog

The Trailers for the films are below

The last must see movie of the Summer (for me)

I'm really hoping this can live up to the books.  I'd love to see a Series of really good Conan movies....Sword vs Sorcery.....Bring it on!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

GO AMERICA!!! Elvis, Indy, Time Machines and the Car Wash of the Future (2008)

GO AMERICA!!! Elvis, Indy, Time Machines and the Car Wash of the Future

A Non-traditional 4th of July….I started out the morning by dropping my dog off at dog day care (aka Folks house) and did my daily swim --That is 9.5 Miles in the pool in 13 days---so far so good…with the exercise plan
Then I headed out to see a 4th of July parade in Lake Forest because a myspace friend had a entry and ---it beat sitting at home all morning-----plus I can have fun doing anything if I think I can blog about it…(Cypress Swap Meet Blog---anyway) …..I decided to stop by the Car Wash of the Future… Where this robot car washer from the year 4000 washed my car for me
I sprung for the works ------and gave my car a little "How's your father" undercarriage treatment…. You know washed the old "Bait and tackle" -----And this was no ordinary Car Wash---this was the LASERWASH 4000 -----"Oh Laserwash 4000"
Oh the colors….
Now for the Parade---first we go to the Great Tiki our sideline reporter…..
Great Tiki here (GO AMERICA)

Police Hound
Elvis is in the house
I thought he was dead or something
"Show us your Pantaloons" Yelled out Lindsey- --a funny girl from the cute girls in front of me club

Giant  Wiener Alert (Close your eyes ladies so you won't be offended)
"Great Scott"
"You made a Time Machine out of a Delorean?"

The Pirates must have followed me from Long Beach
"Nice Rims " I yelled out to the Flinestone car to laughter from the girls in front of me club

Old People (GO AMERICA)
The Punctual Plumber "Oh sure he is on time---but can he fix the pipes"

We must have gone to far in the Doc Brown's Time Machine I think it is the 1980's
Biblical Times

The Wild West "The Wells Fargo Wagon is a coming"

This band was just garbage

What is with these guys? (Pimping ain't easy Dracula on the keyboard)
Fake U2
The Girls in front of me club
And for all the Indiana Jones Fans

"Hold on to your Potatoes"  (Nice Nike Airs Shortround)

"Henry Jones  Junior"

Indy Fan  Hotties  --passing out Posters to the Indy Documentary

After the parade  --headed home for awhile  --caught a couple of Twilight Zone episodes  (that is a 4th of July tradition)  
Came home watched a really interesting movie that was basically all dialogue  called  The Man from Earth  2007   8 out of 10        A really interesting Sci-fi  film that without talking about it I recommend to  cerebral folk...It just had a really interesting subject..