There were zombies in the elevator
When I stumbled in last night
After one too many drinks
At the Holyfield vs Tyson robot fight
I didn’t notice them at first
As I stared at the buttons for my hotel floor
But in such a tiny space
The smell of them was too much to ignore.
They didn’t appear to be going anywhere
Just riding it up and down
Staring at the blinking lights
Making ooohhh and ahhhing sounds
How could I tell they were zombies you ask
Since after all I was a little drunk
Well for one their flesh was rotting
And they really, really stunk
One was chewing on a human arm
Just like it was a turkey leg
Blood dripping from his smile
His breath like a rotten egg
Then there was the Zombie groom and bride
That at about floor number eight
Starting going at it in the corner
Zombie lust did they consummate
I stared drunkenly at my watch
Then back at the elevator dial
One zombie kept pushing the buttons for every single floor
This ride was going to take awhile
Why did I have to be on the 21st floor?
I thought inside my head
A high roller suite with a view
If I can survive an elevator ride filled with the undead
It stopped again on the 12th floor
A couple stared into the elevator
Saw the zombies standing inside
And screamed with horror
The doors closed again
I couldn’t help but take another peek
Three Zombies dressed like Elvis’s
Moaning and groaning cheek to cheek
Finally I reached my floor
I was anxious to get off
But the doors they didn’t open
And the elevator starting getting hot
The doors behind me opened
Into a hot zombie filled corridor
And out the zombies went
Into a place of blood and horror
The secret door shut
And through the regular door I went
Stumbled into my room
And passed out –
Man I was spent.
I woke up the next morning
This story I swear is real
Zombies in the Elevator
Believe me it was quite the ordeal
BAC 09/30/2010
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