This is Not the Thor your looking for - A movie Review

What a piece of work......Almighty Thor 2011 ----shot is 2 weeks and it looks like it. This rush it onto TV as quickly as possible in time for the big Screen Marvel Thor rip-off is just terrible.......Richard Grieco (of 21 Jump Street fame) spends the movie walking around streets in the ghetto is some silly is supposed to be the Norse god Loki......Boy how weird must it be to be in this piece of straight to TV mess the same night that Johnny Depp hanging out at Disneyland to Premiere Pirates on Stranger Tides for which he made $30 Million? I read the Norse myths and I don't remember Thor walking around LA with a Mexican tour guide a la the He-Man movie.....The action is cheesy ---The dialogue and acting are even worse....And what is up with the weird Devil dog CGI creatures???? Like the really bad plot ----I'm clueless....



I'm a sucker for bad Sci-Fi --always in search for the SO-Bad that they are Good gems....This wasn't one of them.....

Almighty Thor 2011 1 out of 10

Almighty Thor ---Not so Much

Trailer below

The Land That Time Forgot 2009 5 out of 10

LOST with a Dinosaur.......It came out around the same time that  the big budget Will Ferrell Land of the Lost came out --plus the TV show LOST --about being stuck on a strange island was on ABC as well......(Asylum has a habit of doing that....just see Almighty Thor----I mean Don't see Almighty Thor it was terrible)..... My Almighty Thor Review is  here

http://bradgeekness.blogspot.com/search?q=almighty+thor

      I hate that they are able to put the words Edgar Rice Burrough's The Land That Time Forgot  on the box because low budget movies like this and my previously reviewed  Jules Verne's  Mysterious Island really don't do those classic books justice.  

(My Mysterious Island reivew is here)

http://bradgeekness.blogspot.com/2012/02/jules-vernes-mysterious-island-2012-0.html

Someone growing up today my be turned off from reading this classic books after watching these  cheap low budget versions of them with the names of such classic authors attached.  Edgar Rice Burrough's  deserves  versions like Disney's  Tarzan and John Carter rather than  films starring (C Thomas Howell).   That being said ---at least this  direct to DVD movie was watchable unlike the Mysterious Island film that was direct to Syfy earlier this year.    Sure it was low budget and they kept shooting scenes in the same 5 shot locations over and over again.....But for an Asylum movie this one was decent in all its cheesy glory.

5 of the Worst movies in the last 5 years (2009-2013)

I'm always making lists of my Top movies of the year or my favorite action movies or favorite comedies.   After a couple of really bad movies lately I thought it was time for a worst of least.
So  below is a least of the movies that were at the bottom of the last 10 years.   These movies achieved the status of worst movie of the year (out of the movies I saw for those years).


The Worst movie of 2013  so far goes to Blast Vegas   1  out of 10

This movie was absolutely terrible and came fresh on the heels of Sharknado  (a so bad it was good gem).    There is nothing good to say about this terrible film......But I wrote about it anyway in a previous blog

http://bradgeekness.blogspot.com/2013/07/blast-vegas-aka-destruction-vegas-2013.html


The Worst movie of 2012  Jules Verne's Mysterious Island  0 out of 10

If you thought Blast Vegas was terrible wait until you see this dreadful movie that blasphemously has Jules Verne's name on it.    This one got a 0 out of 10 which is very rare.  For my thoughts on this turkey....go here

http://bradgeekness.blogspot.com/2012/02/jules-vernes-mysterious-island-2012-0.html

The Worst movie of 2011   Almighty Thor    1 out of 10

 

This movie that tries to steal some of Marvel's Thor thunder is definitely not the Thor you are looking for........Let's face it ---it isn't the Thor anyone was looking for.

You can read the rest of my thoughts on it here

http://bradgeekness.blogspot.com/2011/05/this-is-not-thor-your-looking-for-movie.html

The Worst movie of 2010     Gulliver's Travel   1   out of 10

This movie cemented for me the fact that I'm not a fan of Jack Black.   He has starred in 3 of the worst movies I've ever seen.   As a supporting character in a movie he is ok.  As a lead  NOT SO MUCH.    For more on this movie that currently sits as the worst movie I saw in 2010.....go here.

http://bradgeekness.blogspot.com/2013/04/gulivers-travel-2010-1-out-of-10.html

The Worst movie of 2009   Transmorphers :Fall of Man  2  out of 10

Transmorphers -------Less than meets the Eye"   a truly terrible movie...Like Almighty Thor ---the thought process on this one only went as far as the rip-off title.

 

Here is my review of this terrible rip-off movie that was trying to cash in on Transformers success.
http://bradgeekness.blogspot.com/2011/08/transmorphers-less-than-meets-eye-2-out.html

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Vikingdom 2013 7 out of 10

Vikingdom 2013  7 out of 10

The story followa a Viking King Erick that is living in exile -being tasked with a quest to defeat the Almighty Thor. Thor is angered by the fact that the gods are being forgotten in a time where Christianity is spreading the globe.   Thor has lead a group of Viking to gather some anicent relics in order to open a bridge between heaven, hell and earth.   Erick gathers some Viking warriors and goes an a low budget (light on the special effects)  quest to put a stop to it.  The movie was surprisingly good.  It was like a poor man's 300,  that actually had some really good action sequences and stunt fighting.  Dominic Purcell did and excellent job in the main rule as Erick the Viking.

    I've seen very mixed reviews online for this film - but I disagree with the reviewers that didn't find it entertaining.   Sure there were some really cheesy looking scenes like when our hero in mythic story fashion descends into hell, that seems like it was straight out of The Beastmaster or the original Clash of the Titans.   Rather than finding those scenes bad -- It brought back memories of scenes from some of those 80's movies like Conan the Destroyer or Krull ---(films that I loved).   He even has to avoid a creature in hell that looks like the beast from Holy Grail in the cave of Ahhhhhhhh!.   It may not be the Viking adventure for everyone -- but I enjoyed this film.  The battle scenes were exciting and the finale was satisfying.

This movie was made by the same people that made Big Ass Spider --which I also liked ---so I'm looking forward to seeing what they come up with next.   Zombeavers and Killer Mermaid....Sound good to me.

Age of the Dinosaurs 2013 7 out of 10

Age of the Dinosaurs 2013  7 out 10

First off  Love the poster for this flick.

Asylum films may be turning a corner.  Seeing the words Asylum films meant that most likely it was going to be one of the worst movies ever made for awhile there (Almighty Thor anyone).   They have many films in their filmography to prove this point,  but they may be turning the corner now since the last few Asylum films I've seen have either been SO Bad they are Good  (like Sharknado) or fairly decent like Age of the Dinosaurs.    Age of the Dinosaurs even stars name actors that have previously been in much bigger productions Treat Williams and Ronny Cox (Total Recall, Robocop).  It follows the story of a biotech company called Geneti-Sharp that using breakthrough flesh regeneration technology has been able to cure burn victims and give people that can't walk the ability to do so again. Unforunately the companies director didn't learn anything from the mistakes another tech company called Ingen made and he decides to also bring Dinosaurs back to life.  Bad idea! as we all know from reading about what happened at Jurassic Park.   Bringing Dinosaurs back to life as attractions works about as well as as having robots like in Westworld.   Won't this tech companies ever learn?   Treat Williams character (a fireman) has to keep his daughter that he took to this demonstration safe throughout the movie that borrows heavily from the Jurassic films.

The movie has its ups and downs in both story and effects, but does a pretty good job of being a Jurassic Park rip-off and has a few interesting Dinosaur scenes like a CGI Dino running through a fairly empty mall (extras cost money you know).  There is a surprising amount of Dino footage actually in the film which I applaud the film for attempting.  I really liked the setup for the show in which they introduce the Dinos that may soon be available even to come to your birthday parties (Delusional much).  The film is flawed and yet still actually pretty decent.  It just makes me want to see the next installment of Jurassic Park.  If they can achieve this level in this low budget rip-off....I can only imagine what the next Jurassic Park film will be like.  

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