Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The Great Yeti Blog ( Feb 2009)


The Yeti –mysterious  -….Intriguing…Ellusive




And star of a bunch of so-so movies….Well him 
and his pal the Sasquatch.
Here is a totally random and unnecessary blog about Yetis…I don’t know after watching yet another disappointing Yeti movie—I felt the urge to compile all the Yeti/Bigfoot stuff I have either seen and reviewed or written poems about…
.So here it is The Yeti blog….
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First I’ll start off with some Yeti flicks I’ve seen in the past few months.
With Trailer and scene links 
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The Abominable Snowman  1957  6....
 botanist played by  (Peter Cushing) joins  a dangerous expedition into the ..Himalayas.. to search for the legendary Yeti.  This Yeti  flick  had  an  interesting story but the pacing was a little bit to slow for my tastes… Thumbs up to the Yeti Telepathy angle....but too many trekking across the snow scenes.....
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Chill out Scooby Doo  2007   7....
Scooby Doo is Scooby Doo…The same basics Scooby Doo  formula with a cool looking Yeti Creature….  Typically good Scooby Doo antics occur….....
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Yeti –Curse of the Snow Demon  2008  3....
A  plane  carrying a college football team  crashes in the Himalayans   , ....
Basically  this is the movie Alive with a terrible  looking Grinch that stole Christmas outfit sprayed White terrorizing the Plane crash victims… while they wait for rescue and try to decide whether to eat the other crash victims .  Good thing Quarterback  Peyton Elway is there—otherwise they would all be toast… Also really bad digital Yeti effects thrown in as  well…The Yeti that can leap 40 foot.....

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Snowbeast 1977   4....
This barely seen on screen at all Yeti… Terrorizes a ski resort during its big 50th anniversary….Has the infamous Jaws Scenerio—“We don’t want to panic the skiers this festival is important”  scene ---and a lot of skiing around looking for people scenes… The Yeti “Not so much”  but good use of Yeti noise and Yeti POV camera shots....

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The Snow  Creature 1954    4....
A dull creature feature featuring the Yeti  of course…They capture him bring him back and then he escapes and uses the sewers to run around the city killing people…The Yeti footage may be the worst of all the bad Yeti movies –with the same dark shot of the Yeti approaching and stepping away used over and over again.  ....
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The Sasquatch has been busy making bad movies as well must of which have starred Lance Heinrichsen....
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3  in one movie review....
Sasquatch  2002   3     Sasquatch Mountain  2006  3   Saquatch Hunters  2005 3
Someone please remind me to never watch another Sasquatch movie ever again please.   Just finished watching 3 unrelated Sasquatch movies on Sci-Fi  --channel  --don't  ask why.    Thought --that maybe one of the three movies might be funny or interesting or something ---But all 3 movies sucked.  (What was i thinking)  2  movies starred Lance Henricksen  --of Aliens fame----I know he does a lot of movies --but he is actually in 3  unrelated Sasquatch movies ---He must like Bigfoot or something.  The third movie called Abominable --actually looks like it might be half decent from trailer on line --(But i will resist)
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Anyway Sasquatch 2002 --first movie was about billionaire searching for lost airplane with daughter and important  research---Bump into Sasquatch--people are killed--ends with understanding that Sasquatch was just protecting itself.

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Sasquatch mountain  2006     Bank robbers and cops following them into mountains - bump into Sasquatch--People are killed -- Sasquatch is just protecting his family.

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Sasquatch Hunters  2005    Reserachers and ranger escort --go into forest--looking for some strange gorilla like creatures based on bones that were found ----CGI Sasquatchs attack--people are killed---Sasquatch horde is just protecting burial grounds that were disturbed.
Lesson learned --don't  bother Sasquatch ---He will kill you! to protect something.

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So Bad it is Bad
Abominable  2006  -
Yes it was Abominable
This is the so bad it is bad movie.  The trailer made me think that this Sci-Fi channel   Big Foot movie actually had a chance to be good.  But I was wrong  ---I'm now convinced that a good Big Foot movie will never be made.  This Rear Window—meets  the worst looking  Bigfoot costume ever.  I mean this creature looks like Harry and the ....Hendersons.... retarded brother.   Yikes ---just dreadful. Really Dreadful.  And P.S.    Lance Hendrickson is in this movie. That makes 3  completely unrelated bad Big Foot movies  that he has now been in.    I think he must have had a real life encounter with a Bigfoot to sign on for every bad Big Foot movie that is made.
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Watch the Trailer skip the movie....


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I’ve written a few silly Yeti/Bigfoot related poems in the last year and a half.....
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The Beach Yeti

I was wandering around late last night
When my eyes saw the most abominable sight
You see I was walking my dog down by the jetty
When I think I saw a beach going Yeti


Drag you back to his cave
Slowly roast you over a fire
Then chew on your leg

I know what you will say ---believe me I know
Yetis are normally only seen in remote places with snow
But this Yeti was sitting down the sea
Roasting marshmallows in a fire pit---hey don’t ask me

He will slice you and dice you
Drag you back to his cave
Slowly roast you over a fire
Then chew on your leg

Well me and my dog Mr Poops Alot
Hide ourselves behind the rocks
Checking out this marshmallow roasting Yeti
That  was wearing pink Socks....

He will slice you and dice you
Drag you back to his cave
Slowly roast you over a fire
Then chew on your leg

An Abominable Snowmen at a campfire by the beach
Maybe he escaped from a crate on the local ferry
He was probably on his way to a zoo
But once he escaped decided on a beach vacation wouldn’t you

He will slice you and dice you
Drag you back to his cave
Slowly roast you over a fire
Then chew on your leg

Mr Poops Alot and I just sat there in silence and watched
When the Yeti finished his mellows—he rose and scratched his crotch
Then he did something I wished I didn’t see
He put out the fire using his pee

He will slice you and dice you
Drag you back to his cave
Slowly roast you over a fire
Then chew on your leg

That was enough for Mr Poops A lot and me
We turned away from the beach and grabbed the car key
Headed away from the sea
And let the marshmallow roasting Fire Pissing on Yeti Be....

He will slice you and dice you
Drag you back to his cave
Slowly roast you over a fire
Then chew on your leg

BAC 12/23/2008....
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..Bigfoot is Dead..
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Bigfoot is Dead....
I shot him in the head....
The only problem is ....
He looks a lot like Ned....
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I found him in the kitchen....
Foraging for some food....
I was going to ask why he was there....
But I wasn't in the mood....
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He walked into the living room....
And sat down in my chair....
He smelled kind of bad....
And his back was covered in hair....
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I poked him in the ear....
He turned and hollered "Ouch"....
I asked him why he couldn't use the couch....
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He bared his teeth at me....
And just let out a growl....
Opened a bag of cheetos....
And scratched beneath his towel....
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I walked across the room....
Took the rifle off the wall....
He turned to grab the phone....
And try to make a call....
I loaded it with bullets....
Bigfoot got down on his knees....
He mumbled "Please don't kill me"....
It started to smell like pee.....
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I'm pretty famous now....
His heads mounted above my bed....
The Bigfoot Killer....
Is what the headlines read....
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BAC   September 14 2007....
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So Basically in summary  
Yeti and Bigfoot  in animated features..Such as Scooby Doo-----A Goofy Movie  and the snow cone scene from Monsters  INC……Thumbs up
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Snowcone scene
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Bigfoot vs Goofy
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..Matterhorn Yeti  Good..
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Bigfoot vs Six Million Dollar Man…So cheesy it is good
 “For now I’ll still bet on the Sasquatch”
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Yetis in  The Thirs Mummy Sequel…..Goofy as hell but still kinda kick ass. Literally
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Yeti and Bigfoot in horror movies as killers  NOT SO MUCH
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And the best Yeti  The Bumble  A Big Thumbs up!
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And WWF  Hulk Hogan vs the Yeti
http://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=WJKDGXvr7ig



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